


Black and purple against my pale skin

by Smugdendingle



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Angst, Brainwashed, Controlling Behaviour, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Toxic Relationships, psychological abuse, triggers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-16 02:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smugdendingle/pseuds/Smugdendingle
Summary: The story where it is 6 months in Robert’s new relationship. On how he thinks he deserves the abuse being thrown at him and how he has, regardless of the abuse, fallen in love with his abuser of a boyfriend ( Ryan ).Tw - Domestic ViolenceOr;“ I love you, Ryan. “ Robert told him softly, turning his head a little bit to see him. He still felt the terror within him, but how can he stay mad at him when Ryan is kind afterwards?Ryan turned Robert around, looking at that innocent face. The bruising still visible against the pale freckled skin.“ I love you too, even when you are being bad. “ Ryan held Robert’s jaw gripping the skin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This kinda wrote itself, I wanted to write Robert in the position of being the abused than the abuser. I wanted to dwell on Robert’s thoughts on how he thinks he deserves it. I also wanted to write on how the abused can fall in love with the person who’s hurting them. 
> 
> It is never intentional to cause harm on the readers, but I do like writing different scenarios/realities on life situations. 
> 
> I have only written one chapter as I do not know if people would like this? Any feedback would he much appreciated, it genuinely helps me to stay motivated. 
> 
> Criticism is very welcome but please stay respectful.

Robert sat on the sofa in silence. He let the quietness take over him till the point where he feels like he’s floating. Ryan is meant to be coming home soon, he hates it when Robert hasn’t set the food ready the minute he’s back. 

Robert remembers that day like it was yesterday. Robert got the time wrong and they had to wait an extra 20 minutes. Ryan punched, kicked, pinched and pulled Robert’s hair because of it. He was covered in bruises for weeks. Robert has never got the time wrong again, Robert needs to please Ryan. 

But he always gets it wrong. Every. Single. Time. 

Now, Robert sits at home in silence everyday. He stopped going to work because Ryan kept thinking he was cheating, Ryan made Robert to quit his job. Robert verbally fought back but - the beating he got made Robert to never stick up for himself again. Like always.   
Ryan took away Robert’s form of contact to make him isolated from the world, he’d succeeded in that now. Robert is afraid of going outside into the world, he needs Ryan there to protect him. Robert is nothing without Ryan. 

The bing of the clock startled Robert, bringing him out of his thoughts. He put the hot food onto the plates and set them on the table. Robert checked over everything 4 times, the food was still hot. Ryan has no reason to be angry today. 

The door opened and came Ryan smiling, Robert forces a smile. He loves him, even when he can’t move the next day ( or 4). 

“ Hello, this looks nice doesn’t it? “ Ryan comments, kissing Robert on the lips forcefully. He holds the grip onto Robert’s love handle making sure to mark him. 

“ H-how was work? “ Robert asked, on edge watching Ryan’s next moves. When they sat down at the table. 

Ryan put a mouthful of curry into his mouth as he spoke.   
“ Good. “ 

“ What did you do today then in work? “ 

Ryan frowned at him, eyes darkening. “ what’s with all the questions? “ he said coldly. 

“ Nothing! I just wanted to know how was your day. “ Robert quickly recovered. 

“ Right. Well it was good Robert. How was yours? “ Ryan said, smirking nastily. “ oh yeh I forgot you don’t go to work anymore. “ 

Robert remained silent, carrying on eating his tea knowing to not speak. 

“ Both of us know you’re too thick. Too fat to move aren’t we? “ John laughed at him, kicking Robert’s ankle. Robert didn’t say anything, looking down at his too baggy jumper.   
Ryan leaned over the table narrowing his eyes at Robert’s skinny face. “ Isn’t the piggy not talking today? Or do you only reply with oinks? “ 

“ I’m not a pig. “ Robert whispered. 

Ryan grabbed Robert’s wrist to the point where his knuckles turned white. “ what was that piggy? “ 

Robert tried to pull away his arm only to have Ryan grip harder.   
“ Nothing. “ Robert whimpered. 

Ryan shoved away Robert’s arm making him nearly fall back. 

“ Pathetic boy you are. “ Ryan seethed. “ Bad boys need punishing don’t they? “ 

Robert slowly nodded his head, standing up from the table knowing the schedule off by heart. He slowly took off his clothes slowly with shaking hands, tears threatening to fall.   
Ryan intensity watched Robert take off every single item he wore. The bruising on Robert’s body ignored. 

“ Now go along piggy, you know what to do. “ Ryan stood up, pushing Robert to the corner of the room. Robert faced the corner with his hands to his chest, starring at the blank wall unmoving. 

Robert could hear moving around and he waited. And waited till Ryan came up to him from behind. Robert didn’t move when Ryan’s hard crotch went into his behind. He felt cold metal on his naked back. 

“ I want to try a different punishment. “ Ryan announced.   
“ I’m going to stick these in you and I want to see how long you can hold on for. “ Ryan whispered into Robert’s air, the hot breath going down his ear lobe. 

“ What is it? “ Robert whimpered, terrified. These type of punishments have only ever been standing still for an hour, spanks and whips.

“ I’m going to seduce you till you’re begging for me to make you come. “ Ryan smirked, grabbing Robert’s semi hard cock. “ But, your gonna wait for it. Only good boys can get what they want. “ Ryan whispered teasingly, yanking at Robert’s semi till he grunted in pain. 

“ P-please I’m sorry - “ 

Ryan shook his head at the request. “ nope. You’ve been a bad boy. You need a punishment. “ 

Ryan pushed one anal bead into Robert’s hole, ignoring Robert’s whimpers of pain. He carried on pushing all the beads into Robert’s dry hole till they were all in. Ryan laughed at Robert’s discomfort of pain. 

Ryan held Robert’s hard cock in his hand laughing at Robert.   
“ This is what little pigs get Robert. “ 

“ I’m - I’m sorry - I won’t do anything again - “ Robert whimpered through the moans.   
Hating how Ryan is terracing him. 

“ But you will. All you do is sit here wasting time. Wasting my time, you stupid idiot. “ Ryan slapped Robert’s arse. “ that’s why you’re going to get your job back. “ 

“ what if I - “ 

Ryan clasped his hand onto Robert’s mouth shutting him up.   
“ You will do everything I say because you can’t think for yourself can you? You get confused Rob, that’s why you love me. “ 

Robert muffled something, tears gently sliding down his cheeks. 

“ say you love me. “ 

Ryan removed his hand from Robert’s mouth. “ I love you. “ he said quietly. 

Ryan smiled. “ Good. “ he went to walk away before turning back. “ Oh Yeh I forgot. “ he pressed the on button and the beads started to vibrate in Robert. “ Be a man and toughen up. “ Ryan spat at him, left Robert standing in the corner in darkness. 

After 2 hours of standing up with beads vibrating in you. Robert became numb, he felt dirty like a skank. But he knows he is bad, this is what people like him get. 

The light comes through when Ryan enters, walking up to Robert kissing his neck softly. Ryan rubs Robert’s back lovingly and Robert just falls deeper in love with him again. This is the Ryan he loves, the soft loving Ryan. 

Robert still loves Ryan when he hurts him repeatedly. He knows Ryan is only doing it out of love and care. 

“ How do you feel baby? “ Ryan murmurs, against Robert’s neck, stroking Robert’s finally hard cock. 

“ Good. “ Robert tells him, like he’s reading off a script. 

“ I’m proud of you. “ Ryan beams. “ You know these punishments are for you benefit Rob. “ 

Robert nods his head understanding completely.   
“ it’s to show you love me and want to change me for the better. “ 

Ryan’s face shifts, proud with the mixture of evil. “ I’m glad you’re finally understanding. I am helping you to not be a disappointment anymore. “ Ryan brainwashed Robert, like he has been over the past 6 months of the relationship. 

“ I love you, Ryan. “ Robert told him softly, turning his head a little bit to see him. He still felt the terror within him, but how can he stay mad at him when Ryan is kind afterwards? 

Ryan turned Robert around, looking at that innocent face. The bruising still visible against the pale freckled skin. 

“ I love you too, even when you are being bad. “ Ryan held Robert’s jaw gripping the skin.   
“ Now go to bed, I’ve been waiting for you. “ he grinned, kissing Robert hungrily with the added power of confidence. Ryan dragged Robert to their bedroom and pushed him onto the bed ignoring the loud grunt off Robert. 

“ You are going to have the time of your life. “ 

And god - Robert didn’t know to feel terrified or loved. 

-/- 

The following morning came slowly, the bright golden strays woke Robert up. Only for him to grunt in pain, his lower back in agony. Ryan kept having sex with Robert all night, he kept persuading Robert into having sex. Or he would just seduce Robert, till he wanted it. Robert didn’t want to disappoint the man he loves he does? Ryan already thinks he is a disappointment, as everyone else, so he needs to please Ryan’s urges. Even when Robert can’t feel anything by 2am when Ryan finally stops. 

Ryan shifts, turns to Robert kissing his shoulder gripping Robert’s golden locks tightly.   
“ Did you enjoy yourself last night? “ Ryan smirks. 

Robert forced a painful smile.   
“ Y-Yeh. Just bit tired and in pain -“ 

Ryan frowns harshly at him, leaning up onto his elbow starring down at Robert.   
“ So you didn’t enjoy yourself? How ungrateful is that? “ he spat out. 

Robert slowly sat up trying to calm his boyfriend but was pushed back. God that hurt.   
Robert battled through it, can’t show his weak side. 

“ I did! “ Robert protested. “ I just said -“ 

Ryan now sat on his legs leaning over Robert completely, he jabbed his middle finger deep in Robert’s chest. “ Do you know how hard it is for someone to have sex with you? “ Ryan said, sounding so sincere. Robert avoided eye contact, biting his lip from not crying. “ You’re aren’t that attractive are you? I mean look at you. “ Ryan laughed at Robert, loving to see Robert look even more vulnerable. “ You need to be more grateful you’re with me, you actually have a boyfriend. No one will love you like I do. “ Ryan stroked Robert’s cheek, suddenly turning soft again.   
“ No one will come close like I do. “ 

‘ no one comes close. ‘ A flashback. Robert internally cringes when thinking about Aaron. It’s true, only Ryan will love Robert. 

Ryan straddles Robert’s waist, bending down biting Robert’s bottom lip. “ Not even your ex loved you properly Rob. Why would he love something like you? “ 

Robert looked up at those green eyes, feeling even smaller. 

“ I love you. That’s why I’m here, you can’t function without me, that’s why you moved in, that’s why you quit your job. You can’t cope without me. “ 

Robert frowned. “ You told me too. “ he said quietly. 

Ryan pushed down onto Robert’s shoulders. “ I know. You still did it though didn’t ya? You haven’t got your own mind.” 

“ I do. “ Robert fought back, risking it. 

Ryan huffed frustrated, getting off Robert annoyed. “ If you are going to be stupid I’ll fuck off then shall I? If you don’t need me? “ Ryan plays mind games, putting on clothes and leaving the bedroom. Waiting for Robert to run back to him. Robert panicked. He is wrecking another relationship again, he is losing another individual who actually sticks with him. Robert quickly gets up, grunting and wincing in pain needing to apologise to Ryan. 

Robert comes up to Ryan to hold him only to have Ryan push him away against the counter. 

“ Ry-Ryan I’m sorry - Sorry - of course I need ya. “ Robert begged, he is the only one who stays with someone like him. 

Ryan turns to with his arms folded. “ oh really? “ 

“ Yeh - no one has ever loved me like you. “ Robert repeats what Ryan said to him from months ago. 

( Ryan kicks Robert’s stomach for the tenth time. He bends down enjoying Robert flinching away from him, he grabs the blonde hair forcing Robert to look at him. 

“ Aaron never loved you Robert. He only put up with you, he only wanted your money. What you so had was fake! “ Ryan hissed through gritted teeth. Robert whimpered in pain, Crystal tears falling from the corner of his eye. “ He was felt alone and wanted to keep the bed warm, always waiting for someone else. “ No one has never loved you like I do. “ ) 

Ryan’s face softens, the side Robert loves comes back. He forgives him for everything. Again. 

Ryan threads his fingers through Robert’s hair, as Robert watches him, his eyes showing different emotions. “ You know I want you all to myself Robert. “ he comments, the hidden under meaning of control. “ You are nothing without me. That’s why I love you. “ he pecks Robert’s lips. “ You get ready and get your job back. “ 

Robert frowns softly. “ At Emmerdale? “ 

“ Yes Robert. Back at that village. “ 

Robert nods his head slowly, anxiously. “ You won’t be there? “ 

Ryan smiles, softly. “ See? I told you, you need me. “ he sticks his leg into the V of Robert’s. “ no baby I won’t be with you okay? “ 

Robert nods his head again.   
“ Okay. “ he whispers. 

“ Go on then. “ 

Robert walks back to their bedroom, closing the door shut with the gentlest of bangs. He leans against the door panicking. He doesn’t want to be seen by anyone. He needs to stay here, safe. The village ask too many questions, Aaron and Victoria will be on his back like a moth to a bright light. 

Robert sighs heavily, trying to calm himself but he can’t. Everyone will see his bruises, see he can’t walk properly because of the pain. It’s too risky, they’ll take Ryan away from him. He needs Ryan. 

“ Are you getting ready Robert or being a lazy fucker? “ Ryan shouts from the kitchen. 

Robert flinches, scared again.   
“ I’m just finding my suit. “ he calls back. He cannot disappoint him. 

Robert limps to the shared wardrobe and gets out his black suit. Slowly putting it on, going through the agonising sharp pains. Ryan walks into the bedroom looks at Robert up and down scoffing. 

“ You aren’t serious are you? “ 

Robert just feels himself becoming even more vulnerable. “ What? “ 

“ You look fat in that, it doesn’t suit you. “ Ryan tells him bluntly, takes off the suit being rough on purpose. Ryan chucks a black jumper at Robert with some black jeans. 

“ Put those on. “ Ryan orders him. He watches Robert slowly putting them on scared. 

“ Is this okay? “ Robert waits for approval. 

Ryan shrugs. “ It’ll do. “ He walks to Robert pecking him in the cheek, Robert feels himself becoming trapped again. By the feel of Ryan. 

When Ryan pulls away from Robert he looks down at his watch and huffs. “ See? I’ve wasted my time on you and I’m late. Thanks a lot Robert, fucking hell. “ 

“ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to be late. “ 

Ryan squares up to Robert, with his taller frame he stands over Robert. “ You better be sorry. “

Robert can never do anything right can he? 

-/- 

Robert steps out of his car anxiously. The Portcabin starring right back at him like it’s ready for a fight. It makes Robert feel like he can’t breath ever again. He needs to do this, he can’t keep disappointing Ryan can he? 

Robert walks into the Portcabin and Jimmy and Nicola are sitting there. They both look shocked to see Robert standing there looking - un Robert like. 

“ What you doing here? “ Nicola speaks, her usual bluntness, her file now forgotten about. Jimmy is a bite away from his biscuit when he interrupts. 

“ Yeh I thought you didn’t want to be here again? “ 

Fucking hell this is too much. Robert wants to bolt out and be with Ryan lying on his chest. Even when he is scared of him. 

“ I- I was in a bad place back then. “ Robert stammers out nervously. 

They frown at him. “ What bad place? “ Jimmy asks. 

Nicola huffs. “ Cheating again Sugden? “ she judges. 

Another hit to Robert. 

“ No. I - I was just - I needed - “ 

Nicola laughs at Robert struggling to speak. “ What’s happened to you Robert? “ she mocks. “ I’ve never seen you look so - stupid in my life. “ 

“ Aw come on Nic, don’t be harsh on ‘em. “ Jimmy tells his wife. Nicola rolls her eyes and looks back at Robert who looks like he is on a verge of a breakdown. 

“ You want your job back? “ 

Robert nods his head slowly. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

Nicola stands up, too fast making Robert flinch away ready for the hit. But nothing comes. Jimmy and Nicola both share a worried look. 

“ What is the matter with you Robert? “ 

“ N-nothing. “ 

Nicola hums unconvinced. “ Get on with these. We’re going on our lunch break now. “ 

Robert nods his head again. They walk past him not noticing Robert tensioning for Britain. 

Nicola turns back looking at Robert’s bruised face. “ what happened to you? “ 

“ I - nothing. “ 

“ Oh So you usually get covered in bruises for no reason then? “ 

“ I - I got mugged when I - when I was in town. “ Robert stammered out, avoiding eye contact. 

Nicola nods her head, now disinterested. Both of them walk off leaving Robert to finally breathe. He answers Ryan’s texts when he jumps a mile from the door suddenly opening. When did they shut it? 

Aaron takes a double glance at Robert. The expressions of relieved - love - safe then concern. “ What happened to you? “ 

“ I - got mugged. “ Robert lied again. 

“ You aren’t seriously hurt are ya? “ Aaron asks him calmly. 

“ No. “ 

Lies. Lies. Lies.   
The pains in his body tell him something else. 

Aaron comes towards Robert frowning by how Robert somehow turns in on himself by the closeness. 

“ why did you leave? I thought we were mates? “ 

“ We - we are. “ 

Aaron frowns harder. “ then why haven’t you not been to the village? Why haven’t you barley communicated with us for the past 6 months? “ 

Too many questions. Too many questions. Robert’s chest tightens. 

“ Because- my phone hasn’t been working - I got mugged - I just - haven’t been feeling well. “ Robert blurts out. 

Aaron ignores all that leans closer at Robert looking intensely at the purple/black bruise on Robert’s neck. 

“ who did that? “ 

“ no one - “ Robert replies anxiously. “ No no. When I got mugged. “ 

“ I don’t believe you Robert. “ 

No one believes a liar like you. 

“ I said when I was mugged. “ 

Aaron laughs at the empty excuses, seeing right through Robert. Robert flinches again. “ How long has Ryan been doing this to you for? “ Aaron firmly asks Robert sounding so angry but so calm. 

“ He hasn’t -“ 

“ Bullshit! “ 

Robert flinches, nearly crying. 

“ You can tell me anything Robert. “ now Aaron is calm, his voice as calm as the waves.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Robert tell Aaorn the truth? What will happen if Robert is still ‘ hooked ‘ onto Ryan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope people will enjoy this chapter?   
> Thank for you those who read/commented and liked :)

Robert looked at Aaron, tears glistening in his eyes. The truth on top of his tongue, memories and beatings running through his mind. But he can’t bring himself to speak. He loves Ryan, can’t betray him by sprouting out the actions. 

Ryan is the only one who will stick with Robert. 

“ There’s nothing to tell you about. “ Robert finally said after the silence. 

“ Why have you got bruises on you then? “ Aaron pushed the point. 

“ Because I got mugged! “ Robert shouted, feeling himself getting backed into a corner. Feels like he is back with nasty Ryan again. 

“ People don’t get purple bruises on their neck! “ Aaron let out frustrated by Robert’s lies. 

“ They pulled my neck and gripped it! “ Robert half shouted, heart hammering in his chest. “ Why can’t you drop it? “ 

“ because I know you’re lying. “ 

Robert shrugged. “ Well I’m not. “ the lies came out like a second language. 

Aaron sighs. Robert looks back down at his hands. “ Why did you quit your job? You used to love it. “ Aaron changes the topic. 

“ I was in a bad place back then. “ 

“ What sort -“ 

Robert huffs. “ Please Stop going on Aaron, I’m fine. “ he wishes he wasn’t like this, everything is just so messed up. 

Aaron seems to let it go, nodding his head slowly. “ fine. “ 

Robert goes back to work, ignoring Aaron’s sad face and doesn’t look up when Aaron leaves. He tries to bite away the hurt when Robert didn’t even glance at him. 

Whilst Robert works through the files of figures it helps the anxiety. It somehow soothes him, feels more himself now when he’s by himself.   
Aaron makes absolute racket with a scraped car, ripping the door off it hinges. The frustration and anger oddly helping him, he doesn’t understand what’s happened to Robert. He used to tell Aaron everything, even if he was angry but since being with Ryan he has changed. That’s why Aaron has this resentment towards him for taking away his husband. Aaron hates that yes, he still sees Robert as his, but Robert has moved on. Unfortunately. Even now, his relationship doesn’t seem right.   
Is it jealously? Aaron thought at the beginning, but now it is underlying worry and stupidity. Mum and paddy keep telling him Robert is a grown man and shouldn’t always be supervised. But, even when Robert left the village people didn’t seem to care? 

It’s just - he wants his Robert back. 

After 1 hour of work, plus the added minutes of texting Ryan back and fourth, Robert drops the pen and leans back to stretch. He groans in agony from the pain in his back and inside his pelvis. Unfortunately for Robert Aaron walks in that exact time and frowns at him. 

“ What’s wrong? “ Aaron asks, concern written all over his face as he places himself on the edge of the desk. 

“ Just my back hurting. “ which isn’t total lie, Robert supposes. This feeling of irritation going over him feeling like everyone is on his back. 

“ Well you are turning into a old grampa. “ Aaron smirked cheekily, hiding the depressed moment. 

Robert can barely upturn his lips, but he does forcefully.   
“ Haha very funny. “ 

I missed this, Aaron wanted to say. “ You coming to the woolpack after? “ 

Robert shook his head. “ no. If I do I need to ask Ryan. “ 

“ why do you have to ask him for? “ Aaron frowned. “ You are your own person, you can do what you like. “ 

“ Because I can’t just leave him can I? He needs to know where I am. “ 

“ text him then? “ 

“ Best not. Anyway, he might have something planned. “ Robert started to stand up, collecting his things and putting them underneath his arm. Doing his best to act ‘ normal ‘. 

Aaron did as well following Robert to outside not wanting him to go. “ Well what about tomorrow then? “ 

Robert turned to look at him.   
“ I don’t want to go to the pub. “   
He can’t stand to hear Chas’s remarks, or Victoria’s or flipping anybody. he just wants silence and if he reluctantly agrees with hanging out with Aaron it may get him off his back. 

Aaron looked awkward. “ oh okay, what about the Mill? “ 

“ I don’t think Alex would like that would he? “ 

“ me and Alex have broken up. “ Aaron confirmed like it’s obvious. Hurts even more when nothing happens. Not even a flicker in Robert’s eyes. 

Does he not love me anymore? 

“ and what about Liv? She hates me. “ Robert said, like Aaron’s forgotten. 

Aaron shakes his head. “ No she doesn’t. She misses ya. “ 

“ Doubt it. “ Robert grumbled. Who would want to hang out with someone like him? 

Aaron sighs softly, walking to Robert putting his hand on his arm not noticing how he nearly flinched away. 

“ Please Rob, come at mine 6pm and we can hang out. “ Aaron told him softly, half begging, before leaving to go back into the Portcabin. Robert stared at him for couple of seconds and then walked to his car. How is he doing to tell Ryan? 

/-/ 

Robert walked into the house and instantly smiled from the beautiful smell hitting his nostrils. Robert placed the files onto the table in the hall and was met with Ryan cooking some sort of curry. 

“ What’s this? “ Robert commented, standing beside him letting Ryan tuck him into his side, pressing a kiss to the lips. A small part of Robert’s brain telling him Ryan is planning something. 

“ I’m just cooking for my boyfriend aren’t I? “ Ryan smiled brightly, scooping up a mouthful of curry putting it against Robert’s lips. “ Try it. It’s delicious. “ he grinned. Robert slowly opened his mouth biting the curry before gasping. 

“ bloody hell thats hot! “ Robert rushed to get some water, before being pulled back by Ryan. 

“ no come on, have some more. “ Ryan stuck the spoon into Robert’s face more nastily. “ I’ve cooked this for hours and aren’t even gonna try some more? “ his words becoming harsher. 

“ I - i just wanted some water. “ Robert stuttered, getting ready for whatever attack Ryan will do. 

But Ryan backed down. Too easily. “ Fine. “ he smiled. 

“ Fine? “ Robert repeated, panicking. 

Ryan shrugged his shoulders.   
“ If you don’t want it then it’s okay. “ he said simply, going back to the cooking. Robert looked at him not understanding his calm manner. It might be a good day today? 

Robert anxiously walked to their bedroom to get changed into some joggers and a oversized hoodie ( it used to fit him perfectly 5 months ago ). When Robert went back into the living room the food was plated up and sitting on the table. Where Ryan is now, looking at Robert like he’s stupid. 

“ why you standing there for? “ Ryan said frowning, making Robert feel like a idiot. The blonde placed himself down and began eating his meal, only to realise Ryan is watching him. 

“ You okay? “ Robert asked. 

“ Yeh I’m fine. “ 

“ Are you sure? “ 

“ Why are you cheating on me Robert? “ Ryan asked him sternly. 

Robert’s eyes widened in shock.   
“ What! I’m not cheating on you!” 

Ryan stood up, walking around the table grabbing Robert’s hoodie and flinging him into the floor. “ YOU ARE CHEATING ON ME! “ he screamed, kicking Robert in the stomach with so much power it felt Ryan dented his stomach. 

“ I’m... im not... I.. swear.. “ Robert cried out in pain. 

Ryan seemed to ignore it. “ You and Aaron. Aren’t I enough? “ 

Robert whimpered something inaudible. 

Ryan laughed loudly. He bent down ( with his legs either side of Robert’s body ) and sat on him making Robert sit up even when he cried in severe pain. 

“ Who would want something like you anyway? “ Ryan seethed. “ A disgusting lowlife freak. “ 

“ then why are you with me then? “ Robert whispered, flinching away from Ryan’s touch. 

“ Because no one can have you expect for me, you’re that disgusting people want to hide away from ya. “ Ryan dug his nails into Robert’s neck. “ I was stupid for saying you’re cheating. I don’t know what I was thinking actually. “ he laughed. “ your too ugly to be loved. “ Ryan pecked Robert’s cheek. “ that’s why you should be grateful you’ve got me. “   
Ryan whispered against Robert’s ear, holding him in place as he rimmed against Robert’s crotch. “ Nobody can love you like me. “ Ryan darkly told him, sliding his hand down Robert’s jeans into his boxers gripping hold of the growing semi. Robert shifted, distressed not wanting it, too scared to say anything. 

“ I love you so much Robert. But sometimes I just - really really want to protect you from everything. “ Ryan told him, yanking at Robert’s cock stroking the pre-cum on the head. 

“ Just - just be nice then? Just be a proper boyfriend then -“ Robert pleaded, doesn’t even know why he is trying to make Ryan understand considering he’s in dangerous territory. 

Ryan tilted his head to the side, he began sucking against the skin on Robert’s neck. “ I am nice to you Robert. “ he twirled his tongue on Robert’s skin, eyes growing dark listening to Robert moan and whimper. “ I love you, I’m always nice to you. It’s you who thinks I’m not, all I do is show you I love you. “ Ryan tugs and tugs on Robert’s fully hard cock till he comes over his hand, the loud moans of pleasure filling the room. “ See? You coming from just my touch.” 

Robert didn’t say anything. Too exhausted from Ryan and the pain from laying on the cold floor ( plus yesterday’s rough sex ). 

“ You do love me don’t you? “ Ryan asked him, still straddling him. Ryan played with the sweaty blonde locks as Robert rolled his head against the hard floor. 

“ Mmm. “ Robert half hummed, half moaned. Till Ryan tightened his grip on his hair making Robert jolt with pain. 

“ Yes! Yes I do love you. “ even if that means I have to put up with you hurting me. 

Ryan smiled, seeming proud.   
“ You want to go to bed baby? “ 

“ Yes. “ Robert whispered, needing a comfy bed and just sleep the day away. Ryan helped Robert up took him to bed, Robert let him finding it comforting getting used to it now. 

Finding peace in your violence. 

Ryan tucked Robert into bed wiping away the hairs on his forehead. He kissed him on the forehead as Robert nuzzled deeper into the pillow, eyelids half open smiling weakly at Ryan as he left. 

-/- 

The following morning, Robert woke up and fell back down again. The whole of his back ( and his lower parts ) are in tremendous pain. He can’t even move his neck. But in the corner of his eye he sees a note, and he painfully reaches for it. It reads. 

Robert, I forgot to tell you I have to go away for for 4 days for some sort of conference. I’ll be back Monday. Love you x 

Robert weakly smiles at his handwriting. Even now he can’t help but forgive him. 

Robert is in no fit state to go to work and thank god. He can’t see Aaron or Nicola or Jimmy again. It felt like he couldn’t breathe and all he wanted was Ryan to be there. Weirdly enough. 

Robert slowly gets up from the double bed and pads over to the living room finding his folder. He finds Aaron’s phone number and presses call, in the meantime thinking of an excuse. 

“ hello? “ Aaron scruffy voice comes through. 

“ Hello - I - I wont be in work today. “ Robert manages to get out, and honestly isn’t all that bothered about it. He used to love working but now? He can’t stand it, can’t stand to look at someone and have a conversation. 

“ oh why? “ He sounds disappointed. Robert must be imaging things. 

“ ill. “ Robert blurts out. “ I’ve got some sort of flu and I can’t go in. “ 

“ Oh okay. At least you’ve got Ryan there. “ 

“ He’s gone to a conference. “ Robert doesn’t even know why he is telling Aaron. “ but I’ll be fine. “ 

“ but you’re by yourself? What if you need someone and they’re not there? “ 

God he is like a dog with a bone isn’t he? 

“ then I deal with it. “ 

“ I’ll come over to yours. I’ll look after ya. “ Aaron sounds hopeful. 

“ No no. You don’t have to -“ Robert panicked. How is he going to explain the weird walking? 

“ It’s Alright I want too, I wanna see my best mate don’t I? “ 

Robert half smiled. “ Fine. I’ll send you the address. But don’t tell anyone. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ don’t want the hassle. “ and he’s already letting Aaron come here without telling Ryan. Both men said their goodbyes and Robert practically sprinted to the bathroom looking at the damage. 

God. It looked worse. 

Nail marks over his back, bruising on his lower spine, hickeys over his front and neck. 

But it’s going to be okay, he can just put on a hoodie cant he? So he does, but you can still see the hickeys on his neck and when he puts up the hoodie you can barley see them. So he walks around the flat with his hood up not at all looking weird. 

The knock on the door makes him jump and he begs it isn’t Ryan. Please please please please don’t be him. 

It’s Aaron instead. 

Aaron frowns at him, letting himself into the flat as Robert closes the door. “ Why you got your hood up for? “ 

Robert shrugs awkwardly, wishes he didn’t. Stupid he is.   
“ It’s annoying me. “ he walks over to the kitchen gesturing to the kettle. “ Tea? Coffee? “ 

“ Err coffee thanks. “ Aaron says, only now dawning on him. “ thought you had the flu? “ 

Fuck. You stupid fucking twat. You can’t even lie can you? What use are you? 

“ Err - think it’s some sort of viral instead. Thought I best stay off. “ Robert excused, swirling the coffee in the mug. 

Aaron nodded his head, not convinced at all. He accepted the mug off Robert who didn’t look at him. They sat on the sofa in silence. Robert too afraid to speak and didn’t know what to say. 

“ How’s it been living here then?” Aaron asked him, breaking the awkward silence. Robert never was like this, he always had something to say but now? You can barley get a word out of him. 

Robert shrugged, tracing the rim of the mug with his finger.   
“ it’s been alright. “ 

“ just alright? “ Aaron repeated.   
“ You’ve been living here for 5 months and it’s just alright? “ Aaron can’t believe it. 

“ Yes it’s been good. “ Robert said, expanding the words. “ Ryan’s been nice. “ on a good day. 

“ Has he? “ Aaron aspected. He doesn’t like Ryan one bit. When Robert and Ryan first started out, Ryan was too in your face, always there or making his presence known. Aaron seem on different occasions with always Ryan touching Robert, with more grip than necessary or seeming to be the big I am over Robert. 

“ yeh. “ Robert said. He does want to tell the truth, but, it feels like he can’t. Like he is betraying Ryan and it makes him feel so guilty. 

Aaron shifted ever so slightly closer to Robert, noticing how he tenses. “ You can tell me the truth Rob. “ 

“ There isn’t any truth. “ Robert tells him quietly, his walls going up but feels Aaron nicking at them. 

“ It wouldn’t go any further. I’m here to help ya and keep you safe rob. “ Aaron reminded him ever so calmly. 

“ It wouldn’t though would it? “ He whispered.

Aaron senses Robert weakening. “ It would, just tell me the truth Rob. I told you didn’t I? “ 

Robert’s head shot up. “ yours was horrendous though, of cause you needed to tell someone. “ 

“ it doesn’t make your issues less important Rob. “ 

“ It does. “ 

Aaron sighs softly. “ Just because I went through something that was unthinkable, doesn’t make me special? Doesn’t mean I can’t listen to anyone else’s just because I went through something more physical. “ 

Robert sighs heavily. “ I can’t betray Ryan. “ 

Aaron frowns. “ What would you be betraying him for? “ 

Robert looks at Aaron again, eyes glistening. “ he loves me, and I love him. “ 

“ doesn’t mean you have to put up with whatever he is doing to ya. “ 

Robert blows out a deep breath. “ he - I - I can’t. “ 

Aaron shuffles closer to Robert, placing his hand onto Robert’s.   
“ You can rob, you can do anything. “ 

“ He hurts me. “ Robert mumbled, afraid. 

Aaron feels his skin grow cold.   
“ How? “ please god please don’t be that. 

“ Just - h-hits me, punches me, kicks me, says nasty things to me, rough with me. “ Robert lists off, emotionless. 

“ How long has this been happening for? “ Aaron asks gently. 

“ Since I moved in, but he used to be rough with me before that too. “ 

“ Rough how? “ 

“ Just grips me tightly, not gentle at all. “ 

“ is he like that in bed? “ 

Robert doesn’t answer. 

“ It’s okay to say Robert. “ 

Robert makes a noise in his throat, like he’s having trouble.   
“ y-Yeh. But it’s fine “ Robert tells him, doesn’t knowledge Aaron’s frown of anger. “ he only does it out of love. I know he loves me, and I accept that. “ 

“ You What? He shouldn’t be hurting you at all! “ 

“ See I knew you wouldn’t get it. “ Robert huffs, stands up and grunt in pain. Aaron stands up helping Robert back down to the sofa. 

“ Is that Why you were in pain yesterday? He was rough with ya? “ Aaron assumes, voice becoming hard of anger. 

Robert slowly nods his head, holding his side. “ Yeh. But Aaron it is okay! He loves me, he is showing he cares! “ 

“ he doesn’t love ya. “ 

Robert cries softly. “ He does! I love him! “ 

Aaron frowns. It’s like Ryan has warped his brain. “ You still love him when he hurts ya? “ 

Robert nods his head slowly.   
“ Yes, yes I do. He is always nice to me afterwards, he makes mistakes but I know he has problems. I forgive him. “ 

“ You shouldn’t be putting up with that. “ Aaron said, biting his lip from becoming angry. 

“ But I do! Because I love him, I need him so much. He’s the only one who puts up with me. “ Robert tells Aaron, pleading. 

“ Puts up with you? “ Aaron repeats astonish. “ Is that what you really think? “ 

“ yeh, who would want to stay with me? I’m unlovable, only Ryan can love something like me. “ 

“ I can’t believe I’m hearing this.” Aaron comments, outraged. “ He’s emotionally abusing you! He’s manipulating you! “ 

“ No he isn’t! “ Robert shouts frustrated. “ We love each other! Yeh he hurts me! But I know he doesn’t mean it! “ Robert stands walking over to the cupboard getting out 2 painkillers, ignoring the limp in his steps.

“ Did I used to hurt you? “ Aaron rhetorically asks him. “ We loved each other and I never hurt ya. “ 

“ what we had was different. “ Robert said, turning to him. “ me and Ryan are different. A different kind of love. “ 

“ Are you blind? Do you actually hear what you’re sprouting out? “ Aaron lets out dangerously calm. “ He has brainwashed you. “ 

Robert shakes his head in denial. He knocks back the polls and the water, gulping hard before sighing heavily. 

“ He wouldn’t do that. “ 

“ would he not? “ 

“ no. “ 

“ Why do you think that? “ 

Robert doesn’t say anything, walks to the table and sits down. Aaron in toe too. 

“ Because he loves me, he is kind and gentle when he’s not angry. “ 

“ Can you really put up with that for rest of the relationship? Being afraid of him hurting you again? “ 

Robert shrugs. “ l’ll get him help. “

“ You can’t change someone Rob. Even if you do love them. “ 

“ I changed didn’t I? “ Robert defended Ryan. 

“ Only because you wanted to change. “ 

Robert sighs. “ I can’t leave him. “ 

Aaron tries to be patient even if he wants to knock some sense into Robert. “ Why do you love him Robert? “ 

“ You don’t understand Aaron. “ 

“ make me understand then. “ 

Robert sighs, plays with his thread on the hoodie. “ He’s nice, kind, soft, loving, affectionate. “ he lists off, trailing off into silence. 

Aaron can’t see it. Can’t see any of it. This is something more. Ryan has completely changed Robert’s mindset. 

“ Can I see your bruises? “ Aaron changes the topic, knowing he isn’t getting anywhere. 

Robert frowns. “ why? “ 

“ I want to see if you’re badly injured. “ 

Robert looks conflicted before nodding his head slowly. He stands up and tries to take off his hoodie only to be in too much pain. 

“ Do you need help? “ Aaron takes pity on him. Robert looks ashamed and nods his head, in embarrassment. Aaron walks to him and ever so gently takes off the hoodie. 

Aaron is disgusted by what he sees. The angry purple bruises colouring Robert’s back with nail marks trailing down Robert’s back. 

“ Can you turn around? “ Aaron asks him, trying to keep the lividness at bay. He can seriously knock Ryan out for doing this to his ex husband.   
Aaron’s eyes trail over Robert’s front, same bruising and some purple/black hickeys on him. Aaron notices the weight loss. 

“ Why haven’t you been eating? “ Aaron asks him, curiously. 

Robert shrugged, self conscious, feels exposed. Only Ryan has seen his body. “ Not that hungry sometimes.“ 

“ you must be staving though. You’ve lost a load of weight. “ Aaron suspects, looking at the bones sticking out. “ What have you had today? “ 

“ Nothing. “ 

Aaron nods his head grabs Robert’s hoodie giving it back to him. “ Okay well I can make you something? “ 

Robert shakes his head. “ no it’s okay, you best go, I don’t want to hold you up being with me. “ he tells him, vulnerable. 

“ I want to be with ya Rob. “ Aaron tells him softly. “ Are you scared Ryan will come back and hurt you? Again. “ he realised. 

“ he said he’ll be back in 4 days. “ 

“ where has he gone? “ 

“ gone to some conference. “ 

“ You could text me then? If you want to talk, if you want me to go. “ Aaron leans against the table, watching Robert stand anxiously opposite him. “ Has he taken your phone? “ 

No reply. 

Aaron’s eyebrows raise up.   
“ that’s why you hardly contacted us! Ryan took away the only form of communication off ya! “ all the dots line up. “ He made ya to quit your job didn’t he? And to stop going to the village too! I’m right aren’t I? “ Aaron didn’t need an answer. He already got it from the look off Robert’s face. “ And you still love him? “ 

“ Yeh. “ Robert agrees, more weakly than anything. 

“ What hold has he got over you Rob? “ 

“ he hasn’t got any hold over me! “ Robert half shouts. 

“ But he has isolated ya! You look like you want to be invisible! “ 

Robert frowns. “ no I don’t.” Lies. How does Aaron know him so much? 

“ Yes you do, you look so anxious. You used to be so confident, nothing could ever get in your way, and now you look like - like -“ 

Robert looks directly at him. Aaron can see the exhaustion in his eyes. “ like what Aaron? “ 

“ Fragile. Broken. Emotionally and mentally drained. “ Aaron admits depressed. 

“ you need to leave. “ Robert tells him, walking to the door waiting for Aaron to follow. Only he doesn’t. 

“ No. I can’t leave you here. You’re not safe. “ Aaron tells him stubbornly, can’t go back to the Mill knowing this is happening with Robert. 

“ I am safe! I’ve got Ryan! “ 

“ Who hurts ya! “ 

“ He’s got problems and I’m willing to accept that because we love each other! “ 

Aaron shakes his head. Robert sounds so delusional. But he knows this isn’t really Robert talking, it’s Ryan. 

“ Fine. I’ll go but don’t you think I’m letting this slide. “ Aaron warns, facing Robert by the door. 

“ No you can’t tell anyone Aaron. “ 

“ Because you know how it looks. “ 

Robert looks away for a second. “ I don’t need the hassle. “ 

Aaron could seriously laugh. “ You don’t want the hassle because you know I’m right. “ 

“ If you really care about me you wouldn’t say anything. “ Robert threatens. “ If you do, we’re done. “ 

Aaron stands stunned. He can’t lose Robert even more.   
“ You wouldn’t - “ 

“ I would. All I need is Ryan. “ 

He has to tread carefully. “ Fine, but, I’m going to see ya everyday to see if you’re okay. “   
A flicker goes off. “ I’ll be careful when Ryan comes back, I can’t stand him hurting you Robert. “ Aaron admits hurt. 

“ He wouldn’t seriously hurt me. “ 

Aaron doesn’t say anything, but god, has Robert not seen what he looks like? 

“ Be careful Robert. “ and he leaves with his heart feeling even heavier. 

-/- 

When Aaron gets home. He goes straight onto Google searching the answers for Why Robert is in denial about Ryan. Why he still loves him even though Ryan is abusing him.   
He wasn’t expecting this sort answer. 

Stockholm Syndrome. 

Robert has Stockholm Syndrome. 

What is he meant to do with this information now? How can he possibly help Robert if he is ‘ hooked ‘ onto Ryan? 

-/- 

It’s been 2 weeks since Aaron been going to Robert’s, and ever since he has been to theirs. Aaron has been careful to not make Ryan jealous, to not do anything for him to hurt Robert ( or well for him to the the cause ). Every time he has been going there Robert seemed quieter, more in pain and Ryan has been overly happy, too affectionate to Robert. 

It makes Aaron want to be sick. 

Till one day he gets a unknown phone call. That’s when he stops breathing and everything just stops. 

Robert is in hospital. 

Aaron has never driven so fast in his life towards Hotton General, when he does get there he sees Ryan standing outside a room. Aaron just sees red. 

“ What the fuck have you done to him you bastard! “ Aaron seethes, grabbing Ryan by the coat and banging him against the wall. A loud thud echos, he doesn’t notice the people looking at them startled. 

Ryan laughs at him. “ Me? I haven’t done anything! It’s that sleaze in there! Not my fault he is a little pussy -“ Aaron knees him in the crotch hard, watching Ryan double over in agony. 

“ what have you done to him? “ Aaron repeats again, visions of Robert dead, broken - paralysed. 

“ I put him in line. “ 

“ If you’ve broken my Rob-“ 

“ Mr Sugden’s family? “ a nurse calls out, Aaron races to her ignoring Ryan still on the floor. 

“ How is he? “ Aaron stresses. 

“ What are you to him? “ 

“ I’m his husband. “ Aaron answers immediately. 

The nurse smiles kindly, she gestures to Robert’s door and they walk in. Aaron gazes at Robert’s broken body and he could cry there and then. 

“ Mr -“ 

“ please just call him Robert. “ 

“ Robert has 4 broken ribs, severe bruising across his chests, stomach, legs, back and as you can see his face - the swelling will go down in a few days. “ The nurse lists off heavily. “ There isn’t much damage done thank god, but he needs a lot of rest. “ 

Aaron nods his head understanding, his mind foggy, Crystal tears falling down his cheeks. The nurse leaves Aaron in peace with Robert, he could honestly shake the living day out of him make him realise that this isn’t love. How can Robert still stay with Ryan? 

Aaron sits on the edge of the bed where Robert’s hips are. He grabs Robert’s hand and loosely enter-whines their fingers together, he places a gentle peck onto Robert’s hand. 

“ Oi! What do you think you’re doing? “ Ryan shouts angrily, storming into the room as Aaron pulled away from Robert. 

“ me? What about you mate? You have, again, assaulted my husband! “ The word slips out without meaning too, but he is too far pissed off to care. 

Ryan frowns harshly, jealousy overwhelming him. “ Husband? He is your ex! Robert is mine! “ 

Aaron shakes his head lividly, pushing his chest out and shoulders back ready fo fight him. “ he isn’t yours. “ Aaron spits out. 

“ I made him mine - “ 

“ I’m not yours. “ Robert interrupts quietly, taking away the oxygen mask. Aaron is by his side in an instant basically a wall between Ryan protecting his husband. 

“ Yeh you heard him - fuck off. “   
Aaron hisses, proud of Robert for sticking up for himself. 

“ We’ll talk later when you come home. “ Ryan says shortly before leaving and slamming the door shut. 

Aaron looks back at Robert who just sighs deeply. “ You aren’t seriously going back to him are you? “ his tone dangerously calm. 

Robert winces. “ I don’t know. “ 

Aaron frowns. “ he has nearly killed ya! “ 

“ Yeh I can see that. “ 

Aaron takes Robert’s hand into his own, stroking his hand with his thumb. “ I can’t let you go back to that monster Robert. “ 

“ Why? “ Robert asks quietly, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. “ I’m a no one. Ryan told me that, nobody can never love me like he does. “ Robert’s voice wobbled. “ I don’t want to be alone. “ 

“ You’re not alone. You’ve got me. “ Aaron informed him. 

“ I don’t. You only put up with me to keep your bed warm. “ he mumbled. 

Aaron frowned. “ Where has that come from? “ he asked. “ Did he tell you that? Becos if he has it isn’t true! I love you. Your my husband, your it for me. “ 

“ you still see me like that? “ Robert whispered. 

No point in denying in it now is there? “ I will always see you as my husband, Robert. “ 

Robert wipes away his tears groaning in pain when he touched his swollen eye. “ I’m so messed up. “ he cried softly. Everything is just a mess. 

“ And we’ll fix it okay? We’ll get you better, we’ll talk about everything okay? “ Aaron told him, needing to be the strong one for the both of them. 

“ I still love him even now. “ Robert cried, sounding so distressed and broken. Aaron felt his heart flip and die. “ but I don’t know if I can be with him. “ 

“ Just rest now Rob, we’ll talk in the morning when your bit better. “ Aaron smiled weakly getting off the bed only to have Robert grab his wrist awkwardly. 

“ I don’t want to be alone. “ he whimpered. “ Can I - can I cuddle you? “ 

Aaron nodded his head shortly, smiling softly and sliding in the bed with Robert. He had one arm across Aaron’s stomach and the other against his chest before falling asleep. For the first time in ages he actually feels safe and protected. 

Aaron looked at this man and felt his heart swell, he played with the blonde locks ever so comfortingly. They’ll be okay.   
Aaron placed a kiss on top of Robert’s head and fell asleep. 

-:- 

They were still in the same position when Aaron woke up. Robert was now wrapped around him looking smaller than his 6ft height. Aaron smiled weakly at him it feels so good to have him back, but he isn’t stupid. The whole Ryan and Robert situation hasn’t gone away, it will take a long time for Robert to realise Ryan has been Domestically Abusing him. 

“ hmm...no...notagain... “ Robert whimpers in his sleep, digging himself further into Aaron, who rubbed his back comforting. 

“ hey hey it’s okay, your safe now. “ he shushed, feeling Robert relax into him again before waking up groaning in pain. 

“ Mm’where I’m I? “ Robert croaked out disorientated. 

“ You’re in hospital remember? “ Aaron reminded him calmly. 

“ Hmm. “ Robert hummed, nearly falling back to sleep. 

“ Are you okay? “ Aaron asked concerned, Robert seems so out of it. 

“ Will be. “ he mumbles, the foggy head still there clouding his thought process.

The doctor walks in, with clipboard in hand as he stared at the two men. Robert slowly removed himself from Aaron he still lay beside Robert. 

“ Well Mr Sugden you are free to go! There is no reason for you to be here, i will get your discard papers now. “ The Doctor smiles and left getting what he just said. 

Robert sighed heavily, groaning in pain as he stretched. “ I need to go back to Ryan’s. “ he half mumbled. Aaron looked at him appalled. 

“ You What? “ Aaron said, did he hear that correctly? “ You want to go back to the man who just beaten the shit out of you? “ 

“ he’ll be wondering where I am.” Robert said like that is the perfect answer. 

Aaron shook his head, half laughing. “ I can’t believe I’m hearing this? You are still hooked on him! What is the matter with you? “ Aaron snapped. 

Robert frowned at him.   
“ I need him. I can’t just leave him can I? “ 

“ Why can’t you Robert! He is abusing you! Why the fuck can you not see it! “ 

“ Because I care about him! Yeh he makes mistakes and has a temper but it doesn’t mean I dump him! “ Robert shouts pissed off. 

Aaron scoffs. “ they’re not mistakes! He keeps doing it to ya because he doesn’t love you! He is laughing at you! “ he nails the coffin at home. “ But you are too thick to see it! “ 

“ Well If you really think that you should go then. “ Robert shrugs, up turns his lips into a line. 

“ yeh I will. I can’t be bothered with you and your weird fucking head! “ Aaron spits out, doesn’t even mean it but it comes out without thinking. “ Oh I love my boyfriend I do, Yeh he beats the shit out of me -“ 

Robert glares at him. “ Shut up Aaron. “ his voice stone cold. 

“ - and I end up in hospital with broken ribs and severe bruising but I still fucking love him! Even if I end up dead I still love him! “ Aaron mocks, anger flaring up and up. “ It’s pathetic. “ he adds. Makes this hand gesture and backs away. “ If you can’t wake up and see what he’s doing to ya, I don’t see the point in me being here. “ and it feels so final suddenly. Then he does, Robert hears the door close. He lets himself cry bitterly in his pillow. 

Cries. Cries. Cries. Till he can’t open his eyes again. 

-/- 

Robert gets discharged. He gets a taxi back home. He stares outside the window, going over and over all the possibilities till he makes his decision. 

Robert walks to the door and walks in, Ryan’s there all smiles and passes Robert a bouquet of right red roses. It nearly forces Robert off the track but he needs to do this. 

“ Good I’ve missed you baby. “ Ryan kisses Roberts neck and face going lower and lower till Robert pushes him away. 

Robert takes a deep breath.   
“ We need to talk. “ 

-:- 

Aaron jogs back into the hospital panicking. He didn’t mean any of it. He was just too angry and frustrated, he needs go tell Robert how sorry he is. Only, he walks into Robert’s hospital room and - 

He isn’t there. Empty bed. Empty room. 

Oh god no. Please nonono. 

Aaron cries. He’s gone back. Aaron forced him back into the arms of the monster. 

Aaron runs back outside to his car before just collapsing. He punches the starring wheel repeatedly just sobbing his heart out. 

“ STUPID STUPID STUPID BASTARD! “ Aaron screams, the ending fizzles out before completely breaking down into one major sob. He has lost Robert. 

-:- 

Robert carries his rucksack and gym bag in his hand as he walks away from Ryan’s yellin. He needs to do this, finally realised that this isn’t what he needs. Ryan has brainwashed him that much Robert fell in love with him. 

But he never did. He only thought, but all his thoughts are mixed up. 

Robert goes to the only place where he knows it’s safe.   
Robert takes a deep breath before anxiously knocking against the door. He waits a little longer and it finally opens, Aaron stands there cheeks red and puffy. His eyes don’t look great either. But the pure relief and happiness of Robert standing at his doorstep with bags in his hands is thankful. 

“ I’ve - I’ve left him. “ Robert confesses nervously, it now seems so simple. 

“ For Good? “ Aaron comments. Smiles brightly when Robert nods his head. Aaron goes to hug him before internally kicking himself when Robert flinched.   
“ can I hug you? “ 

Robert let’s him. Aaron can’t let go of Robert. He clings onto his husband, nuzzling his nose into his shoulder breathing in his scent. Yeh okay he is probably acting a bit dramatic but his husband is home. Away from that monster and that is all that should count. 

Robert is finally home. 

-/- 

For once Aaron is glad Liv is away in Ireland, he doesn’t want her pestering and making Robert more uncomfortable ( but obviously he knows she cares about Robert ). Aaron packs away Robert’s stuff in the rightful place, without meaning too. But Robert doesn’t protest so it is probably okay. 

Aaron walks back down the stairs and Robert is still sitting in the sofa still. He looks at Aaron like he has made the biggest mistake ever. 

“ Have I made a mistake? “ Robert admits. “ Shouldn’t I not have left him? “ 

Aaron sits opposite Robert on the coffee table grabbing Robert’s hands and holds them.   
“ No you have not, you’ve made the best choice Robert. “ 

Robert gulps. “ Then why does it feel like I have? Why do I feel guilt? “ 

“ Because he has been abusing you for months. Brainwashing you till you believed all the nasty things he’s told ya. “ Aaron explains. “ I’m telling you now, you have not made a mistake. “ 

“ What If he finds me? “ Robert whimpers. 

“ Then he has me to deal with. “ Aaron coldly stated out. If Ryan even as steps foot into the Mill he will not hesitate to knock him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some more research on Stockholm Syndrome and it looks like you can’t have that in a relationship? I cant get a definitive answer, so let’s just say you can? 
> 
> Also, I might do another chapter? Just to look more into things. But I don’t know when, or if people do want more of this? Please let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! 
> 
> This chapter follows on from the last one. 
> 
> Near the end I started to have mental block, I didn’t know which way to turn for the both of them. But I did decide! I am sorry if you thought I rushed them, but I had to admit, I did a tiny bit, as I did want this finished to start on my other fics. Again, I started losing motivation again and wanted speed things up. 
> 
> ( I hope my ramblings didn’t put anyone off, sorry, at least give it a try as you may like it? Lol ). 
> 
> I do hope you like this?

Abuse fic - 

Robert looks at him, eyes tired and full of terror. “ Don’t be stupid. “ he whispered. 

“ I won’t do anything Robert, I promise. “ Aaron assured him. A long time ago he would probably act with violence and knocked Ryan right out. But with his past counselling sessions, he has leant you can’t use violence and fists. He also made a promise to himself to become a better man, a more mature and sensible man. But this is challenging enough, even the thought of his Robert getting hurt is just clawing at his skin. 

“ I’ve been such an idiot. “ Robert let out bitterly. Aaron frowned about to protest but Robert interrupted him. “ who lets someone hurt them for months on end? Who lets a man beat them, have sex with them and you are too afraid to say no? “ his voice so hallow. “ What type of man does that make me? I’m so weak. “ Robert looked back down, Aaron couldn’t believe it. Robert said every single word with so much defeat and dullness it nearly seemed like it was someone else. Robert has never been the weak one. Aaron mentally shakes away his own thoughts needing to be there for Robert and not dwell on anything else. 

Aaron reached for Robert’s hand, loosely holding the hand stroking the skin with his thumb softly. “ You are not weak. You got lost and trapped for a while, Ryan made you feel small. None of this is your fault. “ 

“ Then Why does it feel like it is?” 

“ Because you’ve been treated disrespectfully for all this time that you have started to believe the poison Ryan has said to you. “ 

Robert doesn’t say anything. Is it true what Aaron is saying? Who is he meant to believe? What is he meant to do with Ryan? Ryan hurts him, especially yesterday, but there is still this feeling in his chest. He feels like he needs Ryan, that he can’t live without him. Aaron thinks he’s stupid, Ryan thinks he’s stupid, but Ryan’s opinion always matters more? The other side of Ryan still matters though the sweet Ryan who calls him babe but even then there is a twinge of nastiness to the word. Was it all a lie? Was Robert really blind by what was happening to him? 

“ Hey, What you thinking about? “ Aaron breaks Robert out of his thoughts. 

“ I miss him. “ Robert admits, ashamed. 

“ Why? “ Aaron frowns, trying to understand Robert’s thoughts. 

Robert shrugged. “ I just do. I feel like I can’t go on without him. “ he admitted, half ashamed half confusion. 

“ that’s because he never let you out of the house, he made you dependent on him. You don’t need him. “ Aaron said calmly, trying to not scare Robert or close in on himself since he is talking about his feelings. 

“ What if I’m being dramatic? “ Robert asks him, all these conflicting thoughts spinning around his head. “ What If he just has a bad temper? I could talk to him, I could try to get him counselling. “ Robert suggests, nearly pleading. Aaron has never seen Robert look so desperate, ignoring all the signs of abuse. 

Aaron sighs, breaths in as he leans closer to Robert wanting him to understand, but not intimidating.“ You were -are- in a domestic violence situation. He doesn’t love you, he loves controlling you. They are two separate things. “ 

Robert shakes his head in denial, not believing it at all.  
“ He does love me Aaron! He is nice and kind to me when he doesn’t hurt me! “ 

This isn’t going to work just with Aaron telling him is it? He needs others to support Robert and see that Ryan is abusing him.  
Aaron tries to keep his frustration in control because this is really testing his patience. 

“ Do you feel safe with him when he is kind to you? “ Aaron asked him bluntly, not needing an answer when the answer is on Robert’s face. 

“ I don’t want to talk. “ Robert grumbles, leaning back wincing in pain. Aaron sighs, looks awkward again. 

“ You go up have a shower, and I’ll make you some lunch. “ Aaron suggest lightly. “ You must be hungry by now. “ 

Robert doesn’t say anything. He stands up and makes his way upstairs in silence, feels like a burden and such a hassle. 

Aaron looks over his shoulder before getting his phone out and calling Victoria. 

“ Vic? You need to come to mine now. “Aaron says in a hushed tone. 

“ Why? What’s wrong?” 

“ Robert’s here. “ 

“ How’s that important? “ Victoria doesn’t mean for it to come out nasty. 

Aaron huffs a bit taken back by what she said. “ I need to tell you the situation but just come now! “

After 5 minutes, Victoria knocks on the door and Aaron lets her in. They walk to the kitchen as Aaron peeps over the stairs to see if it’s clear. 

Victoria huffs inpatient. “ Aaron what’s going on? What’s with the cloak and dagger stuff? “ 

“ Ryan has been abusing Robert.” Aaron told Victoria bluntly, no point in lying. 

“ what? “ She lets out stunned.  
“ Why would Ryan do that? “ 

“ because he is he nasty lunatic. “ Aaron says it with venom. “ He beaten Robert up yesterday and ended up in hospital! “ 

“ Is he okay? “ Victoria asks, worried, she didn’t even know. 

“ Nothing major, broken ribs, a swollen eye and severe bruising. “ Aaron lists off. “ Ryan has been abusing Robert for all this time. “ 

Victoria frowns. “ By doing what? “ 

“ keeping him in the house, telling him nasty things, physically, emotionally and mentally hurting him. “ Aaron trailed off. 

“ I wouldn’t think Ryan was like that? “ Victoria says slowly, disbelief. “ Why didn’t Robert not say anything? “ 

“ Ryan has brainwashed him. He has made Robert think he can’t live without him, Rob keeps saying he loves Ryan even when Ryan hurts him! “ 

“ I can’t believe we didn’t notice.” Victoria chokes out, tears filling up in her eyes. 

Aaron puts a comforting hand on her shoulder smiling weakly.  
“ We’ve noticed now. We need to talk to Robert, tell him what they had wasn’t a real relationship. “ 

“ What If he doesn’t listen to us? “ she says, quietly. 

Aaron shrugged, doesn’t even know. Too naive about this.  
“ I guess we need to be there for him, try to talk to him. “ 

Victoria looks at Aaron before looking around the downstairs living room. “ where is he now? “ 

“ Told him to get a shower, I was supposed to get him something to eat. “ Aaron told her, as they hear movement upstairs. Aaron walks to the fridge getting some food out to make a sandwich. 

“ does he know I’m here? “ Victoria says to him. 

“ No. “ Aaron said shortly. “ I called ya straight after he went into the shower. “ but now he wishes he asked Robert’s permission first. 

Victoria slowly nods her head before forcing a smile seeing her brother walk down the stairs slowly. She tries to keep her shock aside when Robert’s bruising look horrendous. They are dark purple and blue, parts of them green and yellow. Victoria gulps, tries to not sob seeing Robert’s anxious body language, plus his swollen eye looking painful. 

“ You Alright Rob? “ Victoria smiles, the tears in her eyes give her away. 

Robert frowns confused, standing by the stairs still like he doesn’t know what to do. “ Why you here? “ 

“ just wanted to see you, talk to you about Ryan. “ Victoria tells him casually, as Robert huffs frustrated. 

“ there’s nothing to talk about him! “ Robert lets out irritated. Victoria shares a look with Aaron for a split second before they loose eye contact. Aaron places the plate onto the table looking at Robert with a soft expression. 

“ We only want to talk Rob, come on sit down and have this “ he gestured to the plate, he weakly smiled when Robert sat down wincing. 

Victoria inter-whines her fingers together and places them on top of the table. “ What’s Ryan been doing to you Robert? “ she asks him gently. 

“ He’s probably been telling you everything anyway. “ Robert grumbles. 

“ But I want to hear it from my brother Robert. “ 

Robert looked at his sister seeing her upset face and defeated. He took a deep breath steadying himself.  
“ He’s been - hurting me sometimes. “ 

“ Hurting how? “ Victoria responded when Robert became quiet. 

“ Just - rough with me, or kicking me, punching, pinching, pulling, saying nasty things to me. “ Robert replied quietly, avoiding their eyes. “ He doesn’t - well didn’t - let me leave the house, took away my phone. I just sat in the house in silence. “ 

Both of Aaron’s and Victoria’s faces were slack, horrified.  
“ he basically kept you prisoner? “ Victoria confirmed. 

Robert shrugged. “ I don’t know. After a while I didn’t want to leave the house. I was too scared too. “ 

“ ... Rob... “ Aaron doesn’t know what to say. 

“ He give me punishments as well. “ Robert mumbled, can’t help to tell them now. He feels safe for the first time. 

Aaron frowned, skin going pale, blood running cold. The same as Victoria. “ What kind of punishments? “ 

Robert sniffled, images of him standing in the corner with those beads vibrating in him for hours. He can still hear his noises of discomfort and pleasure. “ ..I can’t.. “ he choked out, Victoria was by his side in an instant holding her brother. 

“ hey hey it’s okay, you can tell us everything. We won’t do anything. “ Victoria smoothed Robert’s tense shoulders. 

Robert didn’t move from Victoria’s hold, starring at the table. “ He - he tell me to strip off. “ he blow out a shaky breath. “ Then make - make me stand in the corner for an hour or two completely naked. “ 

“ why? “ Aaron let out before he even thought about it. He felt sick hearing this. 

“ Because- I was bad. “ Robert’s voice cracked. “ He - the other day he - he used a new punishment on me. “ 

Victoria let her tears fall.  
“ New? Was there anymore types -“ 

Robert nodded his head against his sisters arm. “ He used to spank me or w-whip me. “ he shakily said. 

“ Spank? Whip? “ Aaron repeated, he was speechless but so so angry it came across as calm. 

Robert nodded his head.  
“ He did it for an hour sometimes. Telling me how b-bad I was. “ he told them. 

“ What did he do the other night? “ Victoria reverted back to the original topic. 

“ He had - sex toys. “ Robert replied ashamed. Victoria and Aaron felt ill hearing this disgusting behaviour. Robert brushed Victoria off him too uncomfortable, he needs space. 

“ Rob it’s okay. “ Victoria reminded him, wanting him to calm down. 

“ It’s not is it! “ Robert let out angry. “ I’m a man I should deal with it! Ryan is only showing that he loves me! “ 

Victoria taken back till she became angry at her brothers denial. “ Robert he doesn’t love you! What he’s been doing to you isn’t love! How you looked in the mirror? “ Victoria raised her voice. 

“ He has anger problems, doesn’t mean he’s bad. “ Robert defended him, even when he isn’t here. All these emotions swirling around like a shark catching the fish. 

“ Not anger problems. He is just a nasty piece of scum. “ Aaron added, from the counter, arms folded. 

Robert huffed, then looked at Aaron nastily. “ you have anger problems, you went to prison for beating someone to a pulp. So why is it different for Ryan? “ He rhetorically asked him, his words cold. He felt backed into a corner, Ryan’s words fighting with Aaron’s and Victoria’s. He doesn’t know what to do, he’s just so frightened like a little puppy deciding who’s safe. 

Aaron looked hurt for a split second before it faded into defensive. “ I was drunk! You know what happened but I wasn’t just going around beating people up was I? “ he ranted. “ Ryan has been beating you up for months Robert, he has been brainwashing you till the point where you can’t use your brain! “ 

“ I have got -“ 

Aaron interrupted Robert. “ No! No you haven’t! If you did you could clearly see what Ryan has been doing to you! “ 

Robert remained silent. 

“ Rob, every relationship is meant to be built on trust, love and the feeling of safe. But you don’t have that. “ Victoria prompted gently. 

“ We do have love. “ Robert’s voice cracked. Does he even know what love is now? 

Aaron walked to Robert, wrapping his arm around Robert’s shoulder tucking him in as he softly cried. “ you don’t love him Robert, he’s made you think he does. “ he gently said, feeling Robert tense with the contact. 

“ I don’t know what to do. “ Robert choked out. 

“ What do you want to do Robert? “ Victoria asked calmly, seeing Robert distressed isn’t going to help matters. 

Robert sniffled. “ I don’t know. I want Ryan, but then I don’t. “ he repeated. 

“ Do you want to leave him? “ Victoria asked, Aaron shot her a look disapproving. 

Robert shrugged his shoulders.  
“ I don’t want Ryan to think I’m betraying him. “ 

“ You’re not betraying him Rob. “ Victoria immediately responded. 

“ He’s always said to me he is the only one who could love this. “ Robert told them aimlessly, can’t stop himself from talking now. “ I’m unlovable, disgusting and ugly. “ 

“ That’s Why you want to stay with him? “ Aaron confirmed. “ you’re afraid of being lonely? “ 

Robert nodded his head quickly, still feeling so indifferent. 

“ You won’t be alone Rob, you’ve got me, Diane, Vic. “ Aaron listed, comforting him. 

“ I am unlovable. “ Robert whispered, voice cracking tears dropping off his eyes. 

“ don’t say that. You are lovable. Your kind, caring, compassionate. “ Victoria spoke, her heart heavy from the sadness. 

Robert shook his head, pulling away from Aaron. “ I’m tired. “ 

“ You can sleep on my bed if you want? “ Aaron suggested. Robert nodded his head and went up slowly, lack of energy. 

Victoria let herself cry when Robert was out of sight.  
“ How are we going to help him?! “ 

Aaron hugged her, propping his chin on top of Victoria’s head rubbing her back. “ I don’t know vic. I don’t know. “ he whispered. 

Victoria pulled away a few minutes later looking at Aaron with watery eyes. “ What else has he told you? “ 

Aaron looks apprehensive, doesn’t want to tell Victoria feeling like he is going behind Robert’s back. But she is his brother in the end of the day. 

Aaron sighed softly leaning against the wall with his arms folded. “ Rob said Ryan would punch him, kick him, say nasty things to him or rough. “ Aaron told Victoria in a quiet manner.  
“ He also said or well not in many words. Ryan would be rough with him in bed. “ he stated out darkly, angry at Ryan. 

Victoria’s eyes blow wide. “ you don’t think - “ 

“ I don’t know Vic, I didn’t get the charge to ask him. He started saying that it’s okay. Ryan is only showing he loves rob. “ 

“ That’s not love. “ Victoria repeated, astonished. 

“ Ryan has completely brainwashed him. “ Aaron rhetorically said, full of disbelief. It also seems weird, that his Robert can get so brainwashed he can’t think for himself? Or that he has ‘ fallen ‘ in love with someone who abuses him. 

“ is it too late? “ Victoria nearly whimpered. 

“ God I hope not. “ 

Robert removed himself from the stairs going away in silence with tears falling down his cheeks. 

-:- 

Victoria left shortly after. She feels so guilty for not noticing the signs of her brother slowly becoming a shadow of his former self. Why did she not push more when Robert stopped contacting? Why did she not do anything when Robert seemed in pain all the time?  
When Ryan did come to the village he always seemed so nice ( thinking back he seemed too nice ), he was always affectionate with Robert. As she thinks more, Ryan always had Robert by his side at all costs, he never let him leave or Ryan would have that extra unnecessary hold on Robert. God. She has been so stupid hasn’t she? All the signs were starring right back at her and she didn’t even question anything. 

What sort of sister does that make her? 

-/- 

Aaron fiddled with his sleeve, becoming restless. It’s been 2 hours since Victoria left and Robert is still sleeping, Aaron doesn’t know what to do. He really wants to talk to Robert, wants to know how Robert feels, wants to understand more about Ryan and Robert. As it feels like he has been a bit harsh on him, yes he may not completely understand why Robert is still in love with Ryan. But Aaron needs to understand that Robert has been in a abusive relationship for 6 months. All the problems aren’t just going to go away in two days. 

So, Aaron fills the kettle up and switches it on, makes the cup of tea and walks upstairs quietly. When Aaron opens the door he naturally smiles, Robert fast asleep in a ball on his side of the bed wrapped up in the quilt. Aaron quietly places the mug onto the bedside table and places his hand on Robert’s shoulder calmly waking him up. 

But what Robert says breaks his heart into four. 

“ ...m’no please don’t hurt me...” Robert mumbles, semi conscious shifting the hand on him. 

“ Hey, hey it’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt ya. “ Aaron whispers, moves his hand off him now awkwardly standing by the bed. 

Robert shifts again, slowly opens his eyes and blinks repeatedly till he turns to look at Aaron. “ Aaron? “ he mumbles, like he can’t believe it. Aaron places himself on the edge of the bed giving him space. 

“ Yeh it’s me Rob. “ Aaron responds, calmly. Robert groans in pain, shifts up into a half sitting position. “ How’s your injuries? “ he asks, worried. 

Robert winces, he still can’t open his badly bruised, swollen eye. “ Bad. “ he winces. “ just hurts. “ 

“ do you want any paracetamol? “ 

Robert shakes his head, holds his side where his broken ribs are. “ they don’t work. “ 

“ Well I could get the ones the doctor prescribed for you? “ Aaron offers. 

“ I’ll take them after if it gets worse, I’m used being in pain anyway now. “ Robert confesses sadly. The hurt flashes past Aaron’s face as soon it goes. 

“ You shouldn’t be used to it at all Rob. “ Aaron murmurs, trying not get upset. 

Robert sighs again, reaches out for the tea and holds it. He needs a discretion. “ I want to tell you everything. “ he says out of the blue, finding this confidence somewhere deep down after becoming a shadow of his past self. 

Aaron shuffles closer a tiny bit, proud of Robert for finding his voice. “ You can Rob. “ he said, supportingly. 

Robert looks up at him, mouth wobbling. “ I don’t want you to judge me. Or just - push me into talking. “ 

“ I won’t I swear. “ 

Robert nods his head quietly, becoming increasingly nervous again. “ I - I think Ryan has been abusing me. “ he admits, feel weird to say it, he doesn’t look at Aaron still feels afraid too. “ But Ryan says it’s love, he is kind to me and be’s a proper boyfriend it’s me who thinks he’s not. “ Robert stays quiet for a short time, losing his nerve a bit.  
“ A proper boyfriend is kind to you, isn’t rough or just nasty to ya. He is though. He is nasty to me all the time, he’s controlling and just - makes me feel I’m not me anymore. “ Robert stops talking, carries on fiddling with the quilt looks up when Aaron reaches over for his hand. 

“ You’ve always been you Robert, it is Ryan putting you on this - this spell. “ Aaron said quietly, stroking Robert’s hand with a thumb. 

“ I don’t know how to get better Aaron. “ Robert confesses. “ I feel anxious all the time. I can barely make eye contact with people before I feel like I’m having a panic attack. “ 

“ You’re looking at me now Rob aren’t you? “ Aaron weakly smiles when Robert brings his head up. 

“ Only for a few seconds. “ He mumbles. 

“ But you’re still looking at me, you’re doing so well. “ 

“ how I’m i? All I’ve done is be weak and pathetic. “ 

“ You are not weak or pathetic. You’re strong, strong for putting up with Ryan, strong for coming here and leaving Ryan. For telling me and Vic about what’s happened to ya. That doesn’t show me you’re weak. “ Aaron preached, knowing they have barely scratched the surface of the abuse. 

Robert blow out a shaky breath.  
“ When I did leave him. He said - he said I’ll only be crawling back to him, the little whore I am. “ he admitted, bitterness and sadness lacing his words.  
“ I don’t want him to think I’m a whore. “ he mumbled ever so quietly. 

“ Don’t let him think that then. “ Aaron responded, Robert looked at Aaron frowning not following.  
“ I’m not telling you what to do, but don’t go back to him. You can show that you are strong without him, happier without his poison dripping over you. “ 

“ some of my things are still there. “ Robert remembered. 

“ Well we can get them can’t we? “ 

Robert nodded his head again, feeling nervous, he always is now. “ Would you judge me if I did go back to him? “ Robert asked Aaron, fearful. 

Aaron shifted, looking like he is trying to find the right words.  
“ I’ll be confused. “ Aaron admitted. “ I’ll be confused, worried and I’ll try to get you to realise Ryan isn’t the man you think he is. “ 

Robert took a deep breath leaning his head against the headboard. “ I’m so messed up aren’t I? “ he nearly laughed. 

“ why rob? “ 

“ my head is a mess. I can’t think straight, I don’t know what I want anymore. “ 

Aaron didn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say. This is such a fragile situation that he’s afraid to say the wrong thing, doesn’t have the right knowledge on what to do.  
How can he help Robert? 

Aaron cleared his throat.  
“ Do you feel better here? “ he eventually asked, a idea coming to mind. 

Robert shrugged, wincing a bit.  
“ Yeh, Yeh I do. I feel like I can talk to you. “ 

“ Did you feel safe with Ryan? “ 

Robert looked uncomfortable.  
“ It was always in the back of my mind. “ he admitted. “ I would only feel safe for a short period of time before he said or did something. “ 

“ Do you want to know what I’m thinking? “ 

“ you want me to stay here? “ Robert guessed. 

“ yeh, I would want you to stay here as I know you are safe and protected. But it’s your decision. “ as much as Aaron hates it, he doesn’t want to pressure Robert. 

Robert sighs heavily, feeling a little more confident. “ I need to get my stuff from his. “ he took a deep breath. “ will you come with me? “ he asked anxiously. 

Aaron smiled sincerely, proud of Robert for this right choice. “ Of course I will rob. “ did he even have to ask? 

Robert weakly smiled a mixture of nerves, anxiety and happiness? 

He is making the right choice. Isn’t he? 

-:- 

Aaron asked Robert if he wanted Victoria to know and he quietly said yes. She asked if they wanted her to come along but Robert said no, feels like there are too many people all a sudden. When Robert tells Aaron the directions to Ryan’s he has flashbacks, consisting of Ryan putting his hand onto Robert’s crotch with that nasty smirk of his. Ryan sliding his hand down Robert’s boxers whilst driving - touching - squeezing - 

“ Stop - Stop the car -“ Robert gasps out, breathing hitching his chest going so tight it feels like his windpipe is shrinking. Aaron pulls over immediately into a clear area, unfastening his seatbelt and reaching over to Robert. 

“ Just breathe Robert - just listen to me yeh? “ Aaron tried to keep himself calm but the hitch in his own voice didn’t go unnoticed. 

“ I can’t - it -“ Robert winces painfully. 

“ Breathe for me, in and out, in and out -“ Aaron repeated calmly for an extra ten minutes. Robert couldn’t calm down, till finally he could hear Aaron talking again. The high screeching noise went away from his ears, he was only left panting and gasping. 

“ Are you back with me now rob? “ Aaron asked him again. 

Robert nodded his head weakly.  
“ It hurts, to breathe. “ he gasps out holding his chest, feels like his lungs are burning. The broken ribs don’t help either. 

“ Concentrate on your breathing. “ Aaron told him, rubbing Robert’s arm. “ you feel better? “ 

“ A tiny bit. “ Robert said, sounding like he can actually breathe now. 

“ you want to talk about it? “ 

Robert sighed, uncomfortable.  
“ It was a flashback. “ he said shortly, Aaron waited for Robert to continue. “ Me and him in a car, he was driving - ugh it doesn’t matter -“ Robert chickened out. 

“ no no come on you can tell me. “ Aaron assured him, gently. 

Robert rolled his head on the headboard, feeling his heart still racing in his chest. “ It was - about Ryan driving -“ He shakily said, Aaron frowned. “ He was putting his hand on my thigh then on - then on my crotch -“ he winced uncomfortable, feeling embarrassed retelling this. “ he snuck his hand into my b-boxers just feeling me - squeezing me - “ 

Aaron held Robert’s shaking hand, ignoring his eyes becoming blurry. “ It’s okay Rob, it was only a flashback. “ 

“ It felt like it was happening again. “ Robert cried out. “ and when - when you went over that pothole it made it worse. “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

Robert shook his head, weakly squeezing Aaron’s hand. “ no it’s not your fault. “ 

Aaron couldn’t believe it, Robert who just had a panic attack can still find the strength to be strong for him. He really is a strong person isn’t he? He just wishes Robert could see it himself. 

Aaron looked down for a split second, thinking, before looking back up at Robert spaced out. Aaron squeezed Robert’s hand to get his attention. “ Do you want to go back? We can get your stuff another time? “ 

Robert shook his head immediately. “ no, I need to do this. “ he needed to show Ryan he is better than him, he isn’t dependent on Ryan. But, he still feels ever so weak, it’s like this spell ( and it does feel like a spell ) is over him and he just feels like he needs to forgive Ryan again. 

“ only if you’re sure? “ 

“ hmm. “ Robert nodded. 

Aaron muttered a unsure right, sitting back in his seat with his fastening his seatbelt again. He started driving again every now and then glancing at Robert who was starring outside the window. 

Aaron pulled up to the flat, stopping the car and Robert looked petrified. “ I’ll be right beside you Robert. “ Aaron supported him with a comforting smile. Robert didn’t do anything, getting out of the car and they both walked up to the flat in silence. 

Robert knocked on the door taking a deep breath, Aaron rubbed the lower part of his back softly only for Robert to grunt in pain. “ sorry. “ 

“ it’s fine. “ Robert said awkwardly. 

The door opened and Robert felt the loss of ability to speak.  
“ Baby, you came back. “ Ryan smiled widely hugging Robert on the door step, holding Robert’s side with such tightness Robert whimpered. 

“ Oi don’t hurt him. “ Aaron flared up in anger, eyes glaring into Ryan’s soul full of anger and hatred. 

Ryan laughed at Aaron mockingly, gripping Robert’s side practically dragging him beside him. “ yeh? What’s that to you? “ 

“ he’s my mate, I’ve already heard all the things you’ve done to him and it’s disgusting. “ 

Ryan turned dark, turning to Robert digging his fingers into his side. “ what have you been saying babe? “ 

“ n-nothing. “ Robert whimpered, Aaron internally bite himself for causing Ryan to hurt Robert like this. Aaron realised why Robert is in denial and why he thinks Ryan loves him. He makes Robert feel ( and look ) so vulnerable that he genuinely looks like he has reverted back to an upset child. 

Ryan grinned nastily, pressing a kiss to the side of Robert’s head as he tried to dismiss it. “ Good. “ 

“ Rob? Are we going to get your stuff now? “ Aaron pointed at him, trying to get back the little bit more confident Robert back. But it looks like it’s too late. 

“ stuff? I thought you were coming back home? “ Ryan told Robert, he slowly looked at Aaron with so much terror. A silent plea. 

“ Robert has decided to leave you, he came here to get the rest of his stuff. “ Aaron told Ryan, his chest puffing out getting ready for a fight. 

“ And he couldn’t tell me himself? “ Ryan laughed as Robert flinched. Ryan pulled away from Robert who stood by the door looking like he is about to collapse from the stress. Aaron stood by Robert as some sort of confidence barrier and speaker. “ Come on babe, speak up. I want to hear it from the horses mouth. “ Ryan demanded. 

All Robert could feel is his heart hammering in his chest. “ I - I want - t -“ he stammered out painfully, anxiety getting its toll on him. 

“ speak up you spastic! “ Ryan shouted at him, about to hit him but Aaron pushed him away making Ryan stumble into the wall. Robert flinched backing away going into Aaron who wrapped his arm around Robert’s shoulder. He welcomed the comfort even when he tensed. 

“ you can do this Rob. “ Aaron quietly told him, rubbing circles on his arm. 

“ I want to break up with you. “ Robert got the words out, feeling light headed. 

Ryan quirks an eyebrow up smirking at Robert’s tense body language. “ Why’s that babe? “ 

Robert frowned, so did Aaron, he so desperately wanted to rant on about how Ryan has treated Robert. But he remained quiet, not his place to speak. 

“ Because- because you’ve been abusing me. “ Robert confessed quietly, avoiding eye contact. 

“ abusing you how? “ 

Robert risked a glance at Ryan feeling like a load of bricks collapsed onto him. “ You’ve been hitting me, kicking me, verbally abusive to - to me. You are rough with me in bed - and just rough. “ 

“ No I haven’t. “ Ryan bluntly said. 

Robert’s eyes widened. “ Y-Yes you have! “ he shouted distressed, Aaron carried on rubbing Robert’s arm feeling him shake more. “ You made me go into hos-hospital! “ 

Ryan shrugged. “ So one little beating means I’m abusing you? “ 

“ You have been for months! “ 

“ you never said anything did you? “ Ryan replied laughing. 

“ Be-because you kept me trapped! You didn’t let me go anywhere! “ 

“ has he- “ Ryan points to Aaron with his head. “ - been saying all theses lies to you? “ he waits. 

“ N-no, I’ve - I’ve realised you have been hurting me. “ Ryan stepped forward glaring at Aaron when he stepped in front of him not letting him touch Robert. 

“ But I love you Robert. You know I am only showing you that i’m fixing you. “ Ryan calmly told him, using his soft, sweet voice on him. 

That’s when Robert saw it. This man isn’t his boyfriend or lover. He has a monster who has been abusing him for all this time. Why only now is he seeing it? 

“ You can’t fix people by abusing them. “ Robert replied quietly, a twinge if confidence in there. Aaron had a wave of proud going over him when Ryan looked taken back. 

“ You’ll soon come crawling back to me Robert. “ Ryan arrogantly stated out. He stepped forward again as Aaron was getting ready to act. “ I know you love me. I know you like it here. “ 

Robert looked at him. Aaron sensed Ryan getting back into his head again. 

“ I’ll change for you. I’ll have therapy and counselling just for you Robert. “ 

Please don’t believe him Aaron begged in his head. 

“ I’ll let you do things again. “ 

Robert frowned, none of this is right is it? “ no. “ 

Ryan frowned nastily. “ no? “ 

Robert shook his head, feeling his legs wobble. “ No. I don’t want to come back here. “ 

“ and why’s that? “ 

“ because you are lying. You are abusing me, manipulating me, trying to get me here so you can hurt me again. “ Robert told him, his voice shaking. 

“ You’ll soon come to your senses Robert. “ Ryan told him, smugly. 

Robert didn’t say anything, looked down defeating.  
“ Can we get his stuff now or you gonna carry on standing there? “ Aaron demanded at Ryan. Ryan made a face and stepped aside letting Robert and Aaron in. 

“ where’s your stuff? “ Aaron asked Robert, looking like he is frozen in time. 

He looks older and younger at the same time. 

“ In - in the bedroom. “  
Aaron nodded and found the bed room getting Robert’s items. Ryan stepped aside Robert holding his waist, stroking the skin with his thumb. 

“ Why are you doing this to me babe? “ Ryan asked Robert, using his soft voice on him. 

“ It’s - It’s you - “ 

Ryan looked around quickly before grabbing Robert’s wrist tightly making his knuckles white. He held Robert’s wrist up to his chest making him stumble into the wall. 

“ You better listen to me, you tell your mate - “ he hisses into Robert’s face. “ - to fuck off now - you belong to me. He doesn’t want you around Robert, he is playing you, you only need me. “ 

“ what a load of bullshit! “ Aaron shouted, grabbing Ryan shoving him off Robert. Aaron stands there glaring at Ryan seething with anger. “ You are a abusing bastard who assaults people, making them so fucking vulnerable they can’t use their voice! “ 

Ryan shrugged, smirking. “ Not my fault he’s a little pussy. “ Aaron went to charge for him only to have Robert pull him back. 

“ leave it Aaron, come on. “ Robert told him sounding depressed. Aaron picked up the bag with Robert beside him and left the flat. Ryan yelling to Robert and it only became distant sounds when Robert closed the car door. 

“ oh my god. “ Robert breathed out. Aaron held his shaking hand stroking the skin with his thumb. 

“ Are you okay? “ 

“ I can’t believe I just did that. “ Robert gasped out, feeling his back sweat and skin crawl cold. 

“ I know you may not want to hear it but - I’m proud of you. “ 

“ Can we just go back? “ Robert asked him quietly, going to Ryan’s and the flashback has taken its toll on Robert. He can’t believe he has stuck up for himself from Ryan, he thought he’d feel better but he doesn’t. It’s just guilt, regret and sorrow. This itching on his skin feeling like he needs to apologise to Ryan, to tell him how sorry he is. Why is he feeling like this? Why does it feel like his own skin feels too baggy on his bones? 

Robert blinked, looking around surprised that they are driving on the road only a few minutes ago they were at Ryan’s? 

“ You were deep in thought. “ Aaron commented out of the blue, knowing Robert is confused. He glances at Robert before turning onto a country road. 

“ How long for? “ Robert asks frowning, pulling the sleeves over his hands. 

“ 30 minutes. “ Aaron said simply, turning steering wheel as they headed for Emmerdale. “ Do you want go straight to The Mill or do you want to see Vic? “ Aaron asked Robert. 

“ The Mill. “ Robert responded shortly, didn’t even hesitate. He can’t be around people right now, he needs space, feels so trapped he doesn’t know where to turn. 

Robert and Aaron got out of the car and Aaron unlocks the front door, Robert needs to the stairs before Aaron calls out to him. 

“ Are you sure you’re okay? I haven’t pushed you into doing something have I? “ Aaron couldn’t help but let his insecurities to the surface, he would hate himself if he is the cause for Robert’s more so anxious state. 

Robert shook his head.  
“ no, you haven’t done anything Aaron. I promise. “ he told him, he stepped on the first step as he turned to look at Aaron again. “ Is it okay if I have a bath? “ 

“ yeh of course. “ 

Robert weakly smiled going to the stairs before awkwardly turning round again. “ A-Aaron?” He called anxiously, when Aaron turned to look at him from the kettle. 

“ yeh? “ 

“ t-thanks for - t-today. “ 

Aaron’s face softened. “ you don’t have to thank me Rob, I care about you. “ 

Robert smiled again, before going to the stairs feeling like he can breathe again. Aaron still stands there for another minute or so with his sad smile still plastered on his face. He is so proud of Robert for today, even when Ryan tried to manipulate him into staying but Robert stuck his guard. 

Aaron is knocked out of his thoughts when his phone pings with a new message. 

Liv - Hope you’re happy! I’m coming home today! 

Aaron grinned softly texting her back but she can’t come back. What about Robert? He still looks awful with the vidid bruises and the swollen eye. What if Liv asks too many questions and gets Robert more uncomfortable? Maybe if he just tells Robert Liv is coming back and see if Robert wants to tell her or not. 

-/- 

Robert locks the bathroom door, putting his hands gripping onto the sink. He takes in a deep breath steadying himself. He slowly looks up in the mirror taking in how he looks, he doesn’t look like Robert. This Robert is someone else. The face reflecting him looks worn out, bags under his eyes, his right eye still swollen and badly bruised. The half of his face is covered in bruises, with a cut lip. 

What’s happened to him? How did he get so deep in a relationship where it ends up abusive?  
He’s meant to be the strong one where nothing can get in his way. He is meant to show his dad he isn’t a disappointment, but, he is. He let a man hurt him, he’s let himself down. Weak. 

Robert mentally shakes himself out of his thoughts, runs the cold tap and splashes himself in the face. He takes off his clothes slowly till he is completely naked, he stares in the mirror looking at all the bruises, nail marks and hickeys. He sighs heavily, emotionless. He turns the tap on making sure it’s boiling before stepping in. Letting the hot water sting the cuts and sensitive skin. He rests his head on the end of the bath and closes his eyes. 

-/- 

Robert walks down the stairs, after getting changed into Aaron’s baggy joggers and oversized hoodie ( Aaron placed them on Robert’s side of the bed as he was washing Robert’s dirty clothes. Robert got the hint of the kind gesture even if he did complement it after 3 minutes of over thinking ). Robert quietly entered the living room about to go to the sofa when Aaron spoke from the table. 

“ I’ve made you some lunch and a cup of tea. “ Aaron offered kindly. Robert sat down at the table quietly again not knowing how to act, he awkwardly sips on the tea. “ Liv is coming home today. “ Aaron started off, trying to ignore the abnormal bruising on Robert’s face. 

“ You want me to leave when she comes back? “ Robert guessed. “ I’m sorry, I’m such a burden. “ he bitterly said, hating himself even more. He got up, but stopping when Aaron panicked loosely holding Robert’s bruised wrist. 

“ no no rob I wasn’t hinting at ya to leave. I was just saying that she’s coming back, I didn’t want to overwhelm you that’s all. “ Aaron recovered, calming down a bit when Robert looked a bit more reassured. The anxiety still present on him though. 

“ right. “ Robert whispered. 

“ I wanted to let you know, that’s all. She might ask about your injuries and didn’t want to caught you off guard. “ Aaron added, needing to explain himself. “ Sorry. “ 

“ It’s okay. She’ll probably think the worst case scenario. “ Robert joked, even sadder when it was forced one. 

Worst case scenario? Aaron thought, getting beaten up by your supposed boyfriend for months is probably worst case scenario? It’s not exactly sweet and happy is it? 

-/- 

Liv came back to the Mill excited to see Aaron, she hugged him tightly before turning to Robert frowning. She asked him what had happened and he said he got mugged, if Aaron didn’t already know the truth he would believe the lie as well. Robert must have been used to lying all the time. Liv soon left it, asking why Robert is staying in the Mill and not at Ryan’s. When he responded with they broke up Liv had flash of disappointment ( Robert imagined it) going over her face. 

-:- 

It was 3 weeks of Robert staying at the Mill and he hasn’t left the house. He is too scared too, too many people there to criticise him for another failed relationship. Aaron and Liv felt like they were walking on eggshells, Robert ghosted around the house without making a sound. Aaron suspected Robert might’ve done that at Ryan’s, too afraid to make a noise.  
Victoria visited every day wanting to be a proper sister, Robert didn’t exactly appreciate it. He knew Victoria is only pitying him. 

Aaron asked Robert if he wanted to go to the police about the assaults but he declined. He can’t be bothered with the hassle of not being believed, of seeing Ryan again. So he copes. 

One night when Robert couldn’t sleep ( again ) he thought about Ryan. He doesn’t miss him. He doesn’t have the need to see Ryan, he feels nothing against him. Robert needed to step out of the ‘ relationship ‘ to see how Ryan was treating him, and he saw it crystal clear now. He never loved Ryan, yes he might’ve cared for him ( in some weird way he does not have the answers for ) but he does not love Ryan. He made Robert think he did. 

-/- 

Aaron groaned in annoyance at the banging knock on the front door. It was only half eight in the morning, he, Robert and Liv were sitting at the table having their breakfast. Robert finally coming out of his shell ( small steps before big ones ). 

“ oi don’t just walk in! “ Aaron’s voice fell on deaf ears when Ryan stormed into the living room looking like fire. 

Robert immediately tensed. 

“ So this where you’ve been hiding is it? “ Ryan smirked at Robert. “ didn’t take you long to jump into another bed did it? “ he bitterly said. 

Liv looked between all 3 men looking uncomfortable.  
“ Liv go upstairs. “ Aaron ordered. 

“ but -“ 

“ go now! “  
Liv huffed lightly and walked up the stairs out of the way. 

Robert stood up standing by the table starring at Ryan. “ I’m not with him. “ he nodded towards Aaron. 

Ryan scoffed. “ I still don’t get why you broke up with me? “ 

Aaron shook his head pissed off.  
“ You’ve been abusing him for months Ryan, we already told you this the last time. “ 

Ryan didn’t say anything to him.  
“ I was expecting you to come home earlier to be honest. “ 

“ Well I’m not. I don’t need you. “ Robert confessed, believing it now. 

Ryan makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth with his eyes narrowing. “ Yes you do. “ 

Robert shook his head, he can do this. “ I don’t need some sleaze beating me round the house 24/7, I don’t need to live my life in terror of doing something wrong again. I don’t need you, I don’t want you Ryan, I don’t think I ever did. “ Robert stepped forward becoming more confident. “ You are scum. I never loved you. “ 

Ryan laughed at him. “ Aww have you been taking confidence lessons have you? “ he dismissed everything Robert just said, making him feel pathetic again. 

Robert frowned, feeling himself go under into the vulnerability again, till he glanced at Aaron looking proud and that seethed him to go ahead. 

“ No. I haven’t. I’ve realised you were abusing me, why would I want that when I can stay here safe? “ 

“ Safe? It’s not some sort of base you know Robert? “ Ryan laughed at him, seeing Robert downcast. 

Aaron grabbed hold of Ryan’s arm, he has had enough. “ Go on mate you’re done here. “ Ryan pushed Aaron off still not leaving it. 

“ You know Robert you’re pathetic, it was your fault I was abusing you. Why couldn’t you fight back? “ Ryan mocked. “ oh that’s right because you’re a weak little disappointment aren’t you? You can never do anything right. “ 

“ leave now. “ Aaron ordered, trying to get him out of door but having a losing battle. 

“ I think you loved getting assaulted by me didn’t you? You have no one else loving you so you let me hurt ya, knowing that’s what you’re only going to get. “ Ryan spat out at Robert.  
“ I know I’m right, “ he smirks. “ because you’re not even denying anything. “ he laughed nastily. “ I don’t need you, but I know you need me and now you have to deal with the fact you will always be lonely. “ he smirked, brushing off Aaron off. He walked out of the Mill making sure the door slammed shut.  
Aaron walked up to Robert putting his hands either side of Robert’s arms, worried if Ryan’s harmful words have gotten into his head again. 

“ None of that was true Robert. You can’t believe him. “ 

Robert shook his head, tears building up in his eyes. “ It is true Aaron. “ he told Aaron quietly. “ I need to go. “ he struggled Aaron’s touch off him, grabbing his coat. 

“ Wait - wait where are you going? “ Aaron panicked, the first time Robert has left the house in 3 weeks. 

“ the bridge. “ Robert said simply, sounding so tired. Aaron watched him leave hating Ryan even more, Robert was recovering fine becoming better. But now it feels like they are at square one. Liv crept down the stairs looking around the room making sure he’s left before standing opposite Robert. 

“ that man has been abusing Robert? “ Liv asked, scared. “ why didn’t you tell me? “ 

Aaron sighed softly. “ I didn’t want to worry you. “ 

Liv frowned. “ but not telling me anything and having to live with Robert acting like a ghost is fine? “ 

Aaron didn’t say anything, knowing she’s right. “ I cant tell you Liv, it’s not my place too. “ 

“ Robert can then. “ She said simply shrugging her shoulders. 

“ It’s not that simple Liv, he might not even want to tell you or retell what happened. “ 

“ Ask him then and ask if you could tell me instead for him. “ 

Aaron frowned. “ Why? You are just being nosy, all you need to know is Ryan has been nasty Robert. “ 

“ was it domestic violence? “ Liv guessed, not answering Aaron’s last comment. 

“ Yeh. Now leave it, I need to find Robert -“ 

“ shouldn’t you leave him for a while? He needs to clear his head. “ 

“ When did you became so wise? “ Aaron smirked, his little sister is so mature for her age. 

“ When everyone I love has been hurt. “ 

-:- 

“ You don’t want to fall in that, pretty sure the water be freezing cold around this time. “ Aaron commented, walking up to Robert who had his legs dangling on the wood.  
Robert didn’t respond. “ You aren’t seriously going to believe what he said are you? He is bullying you Rob, he wants to hurt ya. “ 

“ Well he was successful in that wasn’t he? “ Robert bitterly said. 

Aaron looked at him again, before putting his forearms onto the wood leaning over slightly.  
“ You do have people who love you Rob. “ 

“ Sometimes it feels like I don’t.” 

“ Well you do, you muppet! “ Aaron grinned softly. “ You have me, Liv, Vic and Diane. “ 

“ I wished I told the police now. “ Robert regretfully said. 

“ You still can. “ 

“ it’s too late isn’t it. I never took photos of my injuries. “ 

“ I don’t think he’ll be coming back anyway. “ 

Robert laughed at him. “ yeh because you’ll be happy about that wouldn’t ya? “ he hissed. 

Aaron frowned at the sudden anger. “ what’s that meant to mean? “ 

“ it doesn’t matter Aaron. “ he grumbled. 

“ No - “ 

“ Aaron leave if okay?! I was putting my anger onto you, leave it, I didn’t know what I was saying. “ 

They stayed in comfortable silence for awhile, both deep in thought. Robert turned to Aaron, face full of sincerity. 

“ Thank you for helping me Aaron for these past few weeks.” This wave of gratitude hitting him square in the chest. Aaron has showed how much he cares for him, Robert has started getting those old feelings back again. 

“ That’s What mates do isn’t it?” Aaron smiles. 

“ Yeh, that’s what we are isn’t it? Mates? “ Robert tested. 

“ Yeh. “ It seemed more like a question. Robert looked back at the scenery, leaving Aaron confused. 

-/- 

After the chat at the bridge something clicked in Robert, he felt a wave of freedom now. He started going to the pub for a pint, yes he still felt a little anxious, but he can’t let Ryan role his life when he wasn’t even part of it. Robert and Victoria had gotten closer, always talking, having banter it felt like old times again. Robert and Aaron started to get closer again, flirting without even realising. Things were starting to come up bright again. 

Robert and Chas became civil ( after Aaron telling her what had happened, she noticed the slight bags and too much on his shoulders look ). It seemed Ryan disappeared from their lives ( probably wrecking other lives as Aaron put it ), Robert actually laughed. There will always be that tiny part of Robert where he will be affected by being in a domestic abuse relationship, but he’s leant to move on. He talks about his feelings and thoughts a lot more, feeling comfortable again not feeling like a hassle anymore. 

Now, Robert and Aaron were in the living room watching a movie together, sitting far to close as necessary. They felt their thighs touch and knees banging into each other, the dim lights making the tv screen humiliate their faces. It was perfect. 

Aaron laughed at something at the tv munching away on popcorn, but Robert couldn’t watch. He was watching Aaron instead, the way his blue eyes light up when he smiles, his whole body shaking when he laughs loudly. He looks beautiful. Robert feels butterflies in his stomach again ( they’ve been there a while now since being with Aaron ), he feels his heart swell even more. 

This feels completely normal. He never had this with Ryan, but with Aaron? It’s meant to be. 

Aaron turned his head frowning slightly, still half grinning eyes trilling at Robert’s features. “ You not watching this? “ 

Before Robert knew what he was doing he leant in, kissing Aaron on the lips. It was more of a soft peck, slipping in a tongue but then barely touching Aaron’s. He was surprised to say the least. Then Robert’s brain caught up with what was going on and he jumped up getting his coat and phone panicking. 

“ You don’t have to do Robert. “ Aaron’s shouted at him softly, disappointed. 

“ I do Aaron. “ Robert replied before leaving to go to Victoria’s house. Aaron stood still at the empty space still feeling the tingling feeling in his lips, smiling ever so softy. 

-/- 

Robert returned back to Aaron’s the following day feeling awkward for what happened yesterday night. Victoria told him tell Aaron how he feels and no he wouldn’t think Robert is stupid for how he feels. 

Aaron naturally smiled when Robert walked through the door. “ Hiya you okay? I was worried about you when you left. “ he told Robert, he could barely sleep after overthinking everything. 

“ Yeh Sorry about yesterday. “ He apologised, not regretting it but it shouldn’t had happened. 

“ why did you kiss me Robert? “ Aaron asked him, not to cause more grief for him but needing the answer for his own sanity. 

Robert took a deep breath, needing tell Aaron or he’ll just exploded. “ I still see you like that, I still love you. Yesterday I don’t know what came over me- I just - watching you laugh and happy made me want to kiss you? “ Robert rambled on. “ I realised I wanted that, that’s how relationships meant to work watching a movie and just comfortable with each other. “ 

Aaron didn’t know what to say.  
What’s the right answer meant to be? 

“ You still love me? “ Aaron said slowly. 

“ Y-Yeh I do. “ Robert stammered. “ if you still -?” 

“ yeh of course I do rob, I love you, I still see you the same. “ 

“ but I’m not ready for an relationship yet. “ Robert admittedly said, stepping forward wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist. Aaron subconsciously put his hand on Robert’s arm and one around his waist too. “ I want to be ready for you, I want to be the man you deserve to have. “ 

“ you’re already perfect. “ 

“ I’m not. I want to get better, that’s why I’m going to start counselling. “ Robert confessed, grinning when Aaron looked proud. “ I need to stay at Vics, we need time apart as mates, we need this. If you do want this? “ 

“ it’s all I’ve ever wanted. “ Aaron murmured. “ I’ll wait for you. “ 

Robert hugged Aaron tightly not letting go. 

-/- 

After 3 months, Robert is ready. His counselling sessions have been brilliant, his mental health is better. Aaron and him have been drinking nearly everyday at the wollie or having movie nights at the Mill. Till Robert bit the bullet and asked Aaron out on a date. 

Victoria laughed giddily at her brothers nervous. “ Rob you’re fine! “ 

Robert patted down his black tie again turning to her from the mirror. “ Are you sure? “ 

“ yes, you look amazing. “ Victoria confessed. “ it’s Aaron. He won’t judge you. “ 

Robert sighed. “ I know but, I want to look good for him. “ 

“ and you do. Now come on! He’s waiting! “ Victoria practically pushed Robert out of the house, where he was greeted with Aaron in a dark blue suit and bouquet of roses in hand. 

Aaron looked up and down at Robert’s body and god - he looked gorgeous. 

“ Wow. You look - wow -“ Aaron stood speechless. Robert blushed, taking Aaron’s hand in his own taking the roses off him. 

“ you don’t look so bad yourself. “ Robert grinned, pecking Aaron’s cheek as they walked to their taxi. They sat in the back still holding hands when Robert laughed. 

“ really flowers? “ Robert grinned. Aaron shrugged, cheeks going redder. 

“ You’re worth it, you deserve flowers. “ 

Robert melted even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments/likes and reading.


	4. A CHEEKY ALTERNATIVE BONUS CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little alternative take after Ryan leaves the hospital leaving Robert and Aaron hitting a bit of bump of realisation.

Aaron glared at Ryan as he left the hospital room and turned back to Robert looking at him with sorrow. 

“ You aren’t going to take him back are you? “ Aaron rhetorically stated out. 

“ Yeh I am. “ 

“ You What? “ Aaron nearly laughed. 

“ Yeh I am. “ Robert repeated.   
“ he didn’t mean for it to go this far. “ 

“ Robert? He has beaten you up severely. “ Aaron said obviously.   
“ You cannot go back. “ 

Robert sighed, shifting to get the weight off his broken ribs.   
“ I have too, I can’t let Ryan down can I? I need him. I’m nothing if I haven’t got him. “ 

Aaron shuffled closer to his ex husband taking his hand and holding tight like a silent plea.   
“ You are not nothing okay? You have your friends -“ 

“ what friends Aaron? “ Robert interrupted tiredly. 

“ - me. “ Aaron told him softly. A flicker went in Robert’s eye but as soon it was there it went. 

“ You don’t need me Aaron. “ 

“ I do! I need your mathematical skills, your funny personality and just - I will always need ya. “ Aaron passionately said. 

“ you’ve lasted the last few months without me. “ 

Aaron nodded his head slowly.   
“ yeh but barely. I don’t want you going back. “ Aaron whispered at the end. 

“ I love him Aaron and he loves me. “ 

Aaron groaned at the back of his throat in frustration. “ it doesn’t mean you let him abuse you! “ 

“ it’s not abuse Aaron. He just has a bit of a temper! “ Robert let out becoming impatient. 

Aaron stood up, needing to move around. “ We loved each other and I never hurt you or vice versa. “ 

Robert shrugged. “ There isn’t any point in this. I forgive him Aaron, I’m not just gonna dump him because of his issues. “ 

“ He has completely brainwashed you! The Robert I know wouldn’t be letting some sleeze bag abuse him! “ 

“ I am the same Robert. If you can’t accept it then go. “ 

A flash of hurt goes over his face. “ Why can’t you see it Robert? “ 

“ because we need him! “ Robert blurted out mistakingly. He fell into silence horrified he let the secret out. 

Aaron frowned. “ We? “ he repeated. “ Please don’t tell your-“ Aaron trailed off when Robert avoided eye contact and looked down. That’s when Aaron saw the small bump underneath Robert’s top.   
“ how far along are you? “ Aaron asked him quietly, nearly pitying him. 

“ 12 weeks. “ Robert replied, not looking at Aaron, he is ashamed. Why did he say that out loud? 

“ 12 weeks? “ Aaron stated out shocked. “ You’ve known all this time and still didn’t do anything? “ 

Robert’s head shot up with his eyes glistening. “ I didn’t find out till I was 10 weeks gone, then I just - panicked. “ he explained. 

Aaron slowly sat on the bed next to Robert’s knees. “ What are you doing to do with it? “ 

“ They’re not a it, they are a baby, my baby. “ Robert heatedly said, putting his hands over his bump protectively. 

“ Sorry. “ Aaron said guilty. “ but what are you going to do? “ 

Robert shrugged. “ I don’t know. “ he said helplessly. “ I want to keep the baby, they deserve a dad. “ 

“ a dad who beats you up. “ Aaron bluntly stated out. 

Robert shrugged his shoulders again. “ If I tell him he’ll change. He’ll change because we’ll be becoming parents. “ 

Aaron frowned, looking hesitant.   
“ Do you 100% think he will change for you? “ 

“ he loves me. “ Robert answered back like that’s the perfect answer. 

“ But is that love enough? “ Aaron wisely said. “ How do you know the baby isn’t damaged? “ 

“ I don’t. I tried to protect them but - I just don’t know. “ Robert pushed the back of his head into the pillow, trying to bite down the agonising pain. 

“ Have you told the doctors? “ 

Robert shook his head. “ I’m scared too. I don’t want them asking questions. “ 

“ you mean you don’t want Ryan finding out and hurting you again. “ Aaron explained seeing through him. 

“ Partly. “ Robert grumbled. 

Aaron placed his hand on Robert’s thigh comfortingly.   
“ Whatever happens I’ll support you. “ 

“ even if I do go back to him? “ 

Aaron shifted, looking at Robert shrugging to find the words. “ It’ll be hard to watch you go back to him after seeing you look like this. But if Ryan got some sort of help I would still support you. “ 

Robert sighed. “ I don’t want people knowing. I don’t want all the pity looks or just - anyone knowing. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ because I’m ashamed! I’m letting Ryan down! I don’t need any of this, me and Ryan are happy together when he doesn’t hurt me so that’s enough. “ 

Aaron can clearly see Robert not understanding the seriousness of this. Has Ryan been abusing Robert for all this time? 

Aaron drops the topic for now, knowing he won’t get anywhere is Robert is riled up. 

“ How did you find out you were even pregnant? “ 

Robert rolled his head on the pillow before tilting his head. “ I had morning sickness, I just thought it was food poisoning. How naive. “ Robert bitterly chuckled. “ After few weeks later I realised the symptoms, my stomach looked bloated more, I got a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. “ 

“ how many did you take? “ 

“ 3 to make sure it was correct. “ 

Aaron slowly nodded his head.   
“ You didn’t say anything? Nothing at all? What if Ryan beaten you up? “ Aaron fired the questions at Robert. 

Robert groaned in frustration.   
“ look I know I’ve been stupid, I know I should have realised beforehand but there is nothing we can do about it now is there? “ 

“ You could always -“ 

“ no I am not getting a abortion. “ Robert sternly said. 

“ but Ryan isn’t suitable to be a dad. “ 

“ I’ll leave him. “ Robert replied before he even thought what he said. He knows he won’t. He is weak. 

“ No you won’t. You’re too far under his spell to leave. “ 

“ I’m not under any spell! We love each other Aaron, I will always forgive him for the things he does. Because he is kind afterwards. “ Robert preached, before grunting in pain clutching his side. Aaron moved forward scared for Robert and the Baby. 

“ Whats wrong? “ Aaron panicked. 

Robert winced, leaning back into his bed. “ just my ribs. “ 

“ not the - baby? “ 

“ no. “ 

“ have you not told anyone else?” 

“ no I’m not and your not either. “ Robert firmly said, Aaron can see it’s an act. 

“ why? We care about you. we just want to help ya. “ 

“ This has got nothing to do with you Aaron. You haven’t contacted me in months, you haven’t bothered to interact with me. So you don’t have any right to judge or control what I do got it? “ Robert ranted, the anger towards Ryan being used on Aaron knowing he wouldn’t do anything to him. 

Aaron upturned his lips and got off the bed making Robert uneasy instantly scared he will be hurt again. Even if it is Aaron. 

“ I haven’t exactly seen you do any of those things have I? “ Aaron replied back sassily. 

Robert didn’t make eye contact with Aaron.

“ Robert I’m not stupid. Ryan is the only reason why you haven’t been to the village and not been in contact with us. “ Aaron explained. “ Ryan’s the one who ya controlling you not me. “ 

“ I didn’t even want anyone to find out about of my this anyway. “ Robert grumbled. 

Aaron shrugged his shoulders.   
“ yeh well too late now because I’ve found out. “ 

“ Can you just -“ 

“ Good morning Mr Sugden. “ The Doctor smiled politely at Robert holding the clipboard to his chest. “ I am going to discharge you today as your injuries aren’t bad enough to stay in hospital. “ The Doctor explainers firmly. “ How is the pain? “ 

“ Aches really. “ Robert said quietly. 

The doctor nodded. “ we will give you some strong medication for that. Can I ask how did this happen to you? “ The Doctor frowned, looking in the corner of his eye when Aaron looked like he was struggling not to blurt out the question. 

“ Got mugged. “ Robert replies, adverting their gaze. 

The doctor cleared his throat.   
“ If you are having problems we are here to help you Robert. We can give you advice and -“ 

“ There isn’t any problems! “ Robert let out, feeling trapped. 

“ We only want to safeguard you. “ The Doctor replies gently. 

“ Come on Rob. “ Aaron pushes on. 

Robert doesn’t look at either of them, his anxiety hitting the roof. He has to tell them doesn’t he? They will know ( Aaron already knows ) he is lying. 

“ I’m - I’m pregnant with my boyfriends baby. “ Robert confessed, sounding ashamed.   
“ He hurts me. “ 

“ Hurt you how? “ The Doctor repeated, interested. 

“ Just punches me, kicks me- just nasty with me. “ 

“ Is he emotionally and mentally abusive to you Robert? “ 

Robert slowly nodded his head. 

“ Has he ever tried to force himself onto you? “ The Doctor asked the question firmly. 

“ no. Well - I’m afraid of saying no. “ 

“ You shouldn’t be afraid at all Robert. “ The Doctor said, calmly. “ How far along are you? “ 

“ 10 weeks. “ 

“ do you want to keep it? “ 

Robert shrugged. “ I don’t know. “ 

The doctor sighed gently. “ I can give you leaflets on what to do Robert, we are here to help you.   
Have you got a place to go? “ 

Robert nodded his head, he can’t leave Ryan. 

“ yeh with Ryan. “ Aaron bitterly said. The doctor shot him a confused look. “ his so called boyfriend. “ 

“ Do you really want to go back to your abuser Robert? “ Said The Doctor pityingly. 

“ He loves me. “ 

“ But -“ 

Robert huffed. “ just please leave it, I didn’t want any of this. Ryan has a temper, he doesn’t mean it when he hurts me. It’s fine. “ he raised his voice feeling too exposed now. 

The doctor didn’t look too pleased. “ You need to book an appointment for a ultrasound to check the baby if they are healthy. “ 

“ fine. “ Robert grumbled. The doctor left the two men in the room with tensions running high. 

“ Do you want me to go with you? “ 

Robert shrugged. “ If you want, don’t want to waste your time. “ 

“ You won’t be wasting my time Robert. “ 

Robert rolled his head away from Aaron with his body turning away as well. “ I’m tired now. “ 

-/-

Robert was discharged around lunchtime, The Doctor made Robert a earlier ultrasound appointment to put less pressure onto Robert. That is where Aaron and Robert were now, waiting outside the room with Aaron’s leg bouncing up and down. Robert couldn’t think straight, he loves Ryan even when he does hurt Robert. He is nothing without Ryan. 

“ Mr Sugden? “ A female nurse calls out with a smile, Robert and Aaron get up and walk into the room. The nurse gestures to the bed chair and Robert lies down wincing in pain. 

“ I see you’re 10 weeks gone I’m I correct? “ The nurse confirms. 

“ Yes. “ 

The nurse hums, opens the cup onto the liquid bottle. She lifts Robert’s top up revealing lots of angry bruises and some old ones. 

Aaron stared shocked, hearing about it is completely different to witnessing it. 

The nurse clears her throat.   
“ Right this will be cold for while. “ she forced a smile and applied the liquid onto Robert’s small bump. After some moving about trying find the heartbeat ( with Robert and Aaron dreading the fear of something wrong with each passing second) the nurse finally finds the heartbeat. 

“ Ah perfect, that’s what we like to hear. “ The nurse grinned, looking at the screen. Robert gasped quietly hearing his baby’s heartbeat go. A few tears slipped from his eye, not looking when Aaron held his had happy for him. 

“ oh wow. “ Robert whispered, amazed, a new sense of love he is now experiencing. 

The nurse burrowed her eyebrows down confused, concentrating on the screen. Aaron watched the nurses face shift sensing something going wrong. 

“ Is there something wrong? “ 

The nurse didn’t reply, moving the scan across Robert’s stomach and they heard ( a second) a heartbeat. 

“ Robert you’ve got twins! “ 

“ what? “ Robert let out slowly, stunned. In a good way. 

“ You are going to have twins. “ 

“ oh my god. I don’t know what to say. “ Robert cried from happy tears. 

“ I’m so happy for you both. “ The nurse smiled at him. Aaron could actually laugh. 

“ Oh no no I’m not his boyfriend. “ Aaron told her. 

A small part of Robert wanted it to be Aaron’s. 

“ Oh I’m sorry. “ She smiled apologetic. “ You’re next appointment will be 24th March. “ 

Robert nodded, wiping away the liquid on his stomach and getting up putting the hoodie back on. Aaron felt a twang of jealousy towards Robert. He wanted them both to have kids, but what they had was toxic. It’s coming up to Christmas though, a season to share with family and friends. that’s why Aaron wants to be proper mates with Robert, even if he still loves him. 

“ You okay? “ Aaron asked him, heading towards the car as Robert still looked in pain. 

“ Just the bruising. “ Robert said. “ and the ribs. “ he added, opening the car door and getting in. Both men sat in their seats without moving, needing a moment to collect their thoughts after the past 5 hours. 

“ You’re going to keep the baby aren’t you? “ Aaron stated out, he knows Robert is going to keep them. Robert has already fallen in love with the babies already. 

Robert nodded his head looking down at his small bump rubbing it ignoring the seatbelt.   
“ Yeh I am. “ 

Aaron sighed. “ What about Ryan? What if he does something like this again to you and you end up having a miscarriage? “ 

“ Don’t say that. “ he whispered, knowing the truth is correct. 

Aaron took Robert’s hand in his own clutching his hand getting his attention. “ I know I’m being blunt but it’s true. You need to safeguard your babies. “ 

“ I know that Aaron, okay? I just - it’ll only get worse if I don’t let Ryan see them. “ 

“ It won’t because you can tell the police, he gets sent to prison and you’ll be free. You can even get a restraining order against him! “ 

Robert chuckled lightly. “ don’t sound so excited. “ 

Aaron smirked. “ I want you and your babies safe. “ because I love you. 

“ You’re right. “ Robert said, more confident and to be honest Aaron is a little surprised by the strong tone. “ I need to protect my babies, I can’t let Ryan beat me around and then when they’re born I can’t let them see me always hurt. “ 

“ I see you finally realised. “ Aaron said, happy. 

“ Yeh, I know back in the hospital I said they need their dad but- they don’t. They already have a dad and that’s me. “ Robert explained. “ everything is a puzzle. I know I’m still confused and still probably being controlled by Ryan but - I need to face facts. My children come first. “ 

“ Proud of you. “ Aaron murmured, grinning softly. 

Robert sighed shaking his head.   
“ I can’t hear that Aaron. I know you mean well but I can’t. It’s me being mature and sensible. “ 

Aaron coughed embarrassed.   
“ sorry. “ 

“ it’s fine. “ Robert said. “ But I don’t have anywhere to live. “ 

“ mine? “ 

“ I can’t. You and Liv don’t want to have a pregnant person living there cooping up the place. “ 

“ you won’t be because we care about you. “ 

“ Lets get my stuff from Ryan’s first. “ Robert grumbled, a small part of him feeling like this is a bad idea. 

-/- 

Robert walked into the apartment first with Aaron behind seeing Ryan jump up pleased. 

“ Robert I’ve been so worried.” Ryan said, hugging Robert shooting Aaron a glare when he scoffed. Ryan looked down feeling Robert’s stomach push out against his. “ Have you eaten for 5 or something? “ Ryan darkly joked, poking Robert in the stomach. Aaron stepped forward as Robert stepped backwards with a protective hand over his bump. 

“ What’s got into you? “ Ryan asked Robert seeing him hold his stomach. 

“ nothing. “ Robert replied, feeling threatened. “ I’m leaving.” 

“ leaving? Here? No why? “ 

“ You have been abusing me for months! “ Robert raised his voice. 

Ryan’s face softened. “ Baby I haven’t -“ he went to cuddle him but Robert stepped away. 

“ I can’t truth you Ryan, I can’t live my life knowing you’ll me and our babies! “ shit. Well bloody done Robert. 

Ryan stared in shock. “ You What? “ 

Aaron didn’t expect Robert to blurt it out. 

“ I’m pregnant. “ 

“ With me-my -“ Ryan stammered. 

“ They’re yours. “ Robert explained, calmly. “ Both of them are. “ 

“ You’re having twins? “ Ryan repeated, he looked like he was crying. 

Robert nodded his head.   
“ yeh twins, that’s why I need go leave. I can’t loose my babies because of you hurting me again. “ he went to move past Ryan but he grabbed his wrist only to have Aaron pull him back. 

“ please babe don’t leave, we can be a family. “ 

Robert looked at him. “ yeh we could but you can always make me end up in hospital again. “ Robert confessed sadly. “ I need to think of my children. “ 

Ryan looked panicked. “ okay what if -what if I get help? “ 

Robert opened his mouth shocked. “ You’ll get help?” 

Aaron walked to Robert seeing he is weakening. “ he’s lying. “ 

“ I’m not! “ Ryan frustratedly, winced when Robert flinched a little. “ I want to us to be family. I’ll get help Robert. I love you. “ 

“ I’ll always live in fear -“ 

Ryan stepped forward wrapping his arms around Roberts middle.   
“ I know baby, i think there is something wrong with me - but I’m willing to improve myself for you for our babies. “ 

Robert took a deep breath.   
“ fine. “ 

“ fine? “ Ryan repeated hopeful. Aaron frowned at them both. 

Robert nodded his head.   
“ Yeh If you get help I’ll stay. We can be a family. “ 

“ Robert are you being serious? You’re black and blue. “ Aaron told him fed up. 

Robert looked at Aaron moving away from Ryan. “ I know but if he’s willing to get help I’m willing to stay. “ 

“ He could be lying! “ 

Ryan shook his head at Aaron, turning to Robert begging. “ I’m not. I admit I’ve been a bastard to you but I want to be dad. I want us to be parents. “ 

“ Go ring the Doctors. If you are serious about this you will get help okay? “ Robert ordered him. 

“ I’ll - I’ll ring them now. “ Ryan went off to get his phone. 

“ Robert you said you need to think of your kids?-“ 

“ yeh I am, he’s getting help - when he is doing to counselling we can be happy. “ 

“ I don’t believe him Robert. “ Aaron admitted. 

“ I do. I really think he means it Aaron. “ 

Aaron sighed heavily.   
“ I just don’t see it. I don’t think he is doing to change. “ 

Robert walked to Aaron pleading. “ If you don’t believe him fine but just - support me instead. Don’t - Don’t leave just because you disapprove of him. “ 

“ I won’t ever leave you Robert. I’ll be with you always, but be careful okay? “ Aaron worried, feeling his heart sink. 

“ I will. I really think he’s going to change. “ 

Aaron patted Robert’s shoulder.   
“ Ring me whenever, you can always come to mine if things go bad. “ Aaron was never good with words. 

“ I will. Thanks -“ 

“ it’s alright. “ Aaron smiled, leaving the apartment with his heart turning cold. Robert closed the door and gasped when Ryan turned him around slamming him against the door with his face in Robert’s. 

“ You really think I’ll change for you? “ Ryan laughed, Robert saw the anger and craziness in his eyes as the fear crushed down onto his chest. 

What has he done?

**Author's Note:**

> Soo I left it on a cliff hanger ( if you consider this as one? ) 
> 
> I do hope people have enjoyed reading this. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
